Re: I need to rant at you about your behavior in mainstream communities
No I'm not in debt, actually he owes me 10000 dollars, but that's a whole other topic. I have emotionally detached myself from him enough to where him missing me if I killed myself, doesn't hold me back. But I do want to pay him back by spending more time with him. But the reason I don't do that, is exactly the reason that I am still here. Because I don't have the skills yet to move and be stable. I would like to be able to live in my own place and meet up with him like once or twice a week. He is already gone a lot of the time, but it doesn't feel the same way when I spend time with him now, as it would in the above scenario. I could consider asking if I can live in this house alone and he can live in the other house so that I can practice independence, but this house is where all of his disorganized shit is. Not to mention it is super old, and every time I walk into my room, my mindset goes from positive to negative immediately. I call it an atmosphere. When you walk into a place that instantly changes your mindset.
The problem with living in this house vs an apartment is that I already know the people here, and none of them are social, and they are super old. In an apartment complex, you have a wider age range, and more people may visit the areas aronudn you.
So should I ask about living independently in this house? It's worth a try, and probably the best course of action for me. I don't have to pay rent, I won't have to deal with my dad complaining or guilt tripping about I don't love him because I asked to be independent, and I already know this area a little bit.
I don't want to move to the other house, because my dad is still "managing it" whatever that means, and I've heard stories about that house that make me question the sanitary conditions. So I'd rather stay here where things are so old and fucked up, they are broken. Well on second thought, if that house gets better... nah I still think I prefer here.
This probably won't happen because this house still has all of his stuff. But for the amount of time he is spending over there, he might as well just live there.
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