Thank you very much Alice. This is perfect ! I approve as well, br mp

----------------
De : Alice Russo <[email protected]>
Envoyé : mercredi 17 septembre 2025 17:07
À : Cedric Westphal <[email protected]>; Alexander Clemm <[email protected]>
Cc : "Jérôme François" <[email protected]>; "Laurent Ciavaglia (Nokia)" <[email protected]>; Alexander Clemm <[email protected]>; "[email protected]" <[email protected]>; Jeff Tantsura <[email protected]>; Marie-Paule Odini <[email protected]>; IRSG <[email protected]>; auth48archive <[email protected]>; RFC Editor <[email protected]>
Objet : Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9845 for your review


Cedric, Alex,

Thank you for your replies. We have updated the document as requested, with two changes to the text provided for Section 1.1: removed extraneous parenthesis in 'atmosphere)'; changed 'but by also reducing' to 'but also by reducing'.

This diff file shows only the changes since the last posted version:
  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-lastrfcdiff.html

The revised files are here (please refresh):
  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.html
  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.txt
  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.pdf
  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.xml

This diff file shows all changes from the approved I-D:
  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-diff.html
  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-rfcdiff.html (side by side)

This diff file shows the changes made during AUTH48 thus far:
  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-auth48diff.html
  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-auth48rfcdiff.html (side by side)

Cedric wrote:
> I approve as well!

Your approval has been recorded.

We will wait to hear from Alex again and from Jeff, Marie-Paule, and Jérôme before continuing the publication process. This page shows the AUTH48 status of your document:
  https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9845

Thank you.
RFC Editor/ar

> On Sep 15, 2025, at 11:58 AM, Alexander Clemm <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> Dear Alice,
>
> I have returned from my trip.  Thank you so much for your support in driving this forward, and to Carlos for jumping in during my absence!
>
> I have the following small comments outstanding:
>
> (1) Could you please record my affiliation as "Sympotech"?  (Address, email etc staying the same, just s/Independent/Sympotech/).  Thank you! 
>
>
> (2) Current:
>
>   Therefore, the networking industry has an important role to play in
>   meeting sustainability goals and not just by enabling others to
>   reduce their reliance on energy but by also reducing its own. 
>
> I find the "and" that was added a bit awkward; why not make it a comma which more clearly separates the two aspekts (not just one, but als the other) to result in:
>
> Suggested:
>
>   Therefore, the networking industry has an important role to play in
>   meeting sustainability goals, not just by enabling others to
>   reduce their reliance on energy but by also reducing its own. 
>
> (3) Section 6.1.  We got rid of "right-placing", replacing it with "correctly place".  "Correct" is not the proper term here; you can place functions in ways that are correct but that are at the same time inefficient and suboptimal.  I think "correct" needs to be replaced with "smart" here. i.e.:
>
> Current:
> Likewise, there are opportunities to correctly place functionality in
>   the network for optimal effectiveness.
>
> Suggested:
>
> Likewise, there are opportunities to smartly place functionality in
>   the network for optimal effectiveness.
>
> (4) After the text changes, I think the 2nd paragraph in the motivation now sounds a bit awkward and redundant (not wrong, but can be stylistically improved; also this is at the very beginning of the document where we should perhaps word things not quite as lengthily and should come to the point).   I liked the original version better.  This will not be worth holding the document up over, but I am wondering if we could still apply some wordsmithing, perhaps: 
>
> (If that throws in too much a wrench, please let me know in which case I will withdraw my comment as it is not worth holding the document up over)
>
> Current:
> The science behind greenhouse gas emissions and their relationship
>   with climate change is complex.  However, there is overwhelming
>   scientific consensus pointing toward a clear correlation between
>   climate change and a rising amount of greenhouse gases in the
>   atmosphere.  When we say 'greenhouse gases' or GHG, we are referring
>   to gases in the Earth's atmosphere that trap heat and contribute to
>   the greenhouse effect.  They include carbon dioxide (CO2), methane
>   (CH4), nitrous oxide (N2O), and fluorinated gases (as covered under
>   the Kyoto Protocol and Paris Agreement).  In terms of emissions from
>   human activity, the dominant greenhouse gas is CO2; consequently, it
>   often becomes shorthand for "all GHGs".  However, other gases are
>   also converted into "CO2-equivalents", or CO2e.  One greenhouse gas
>   of particular concern, but by no means the only one, is carbon
>   dioxide (CO2).  Carbon dioxide is emitted in the process of burning
>   fuels to generate energy that is used, for example, to power
>   electrical devices such as networking equipment.  Notable here is the
>   use of fossil fuels (such as oil, which releases CO2 that had long
>   been removed from the earth's atmosphere), as opposed to the use of
>   renewable or sustainable fuels that do not "add" to the amount of CO2
>   in the atmosphere.  There are additional gases associated with
>   electricity generation, in particular methane (CH4) and nitrous oxide
>   (N2O).  Although they exist in smaller quantities, they have an even
>   higher Global Warming Potential (GWP).
>
> Suggested:
>
> The science behind greenhouse gas emissions and their relationship
>   with climate change is complex.  However, there is overwhelming
>   scientific consensus pointing toward a clear correlation between
>   climate change and a rising amount of greenhouse gases in the
>   atmosphere.  When we say 'greenhouse gases' or GHG, we are referring
>   to gases in the Earth's atmosphere that trap heat and contribute to
>   the greenhouse effect.  They include carbon dioxide (CO2), methane
>   (CH4), nitrous oxide (N2O), and fluorinated gases (as covered under
>   the Kyoto Protocol and Paris Agreement).
>   In terms of emissions from
>   human activity, the dominant greenhouse gas is carbon dioxide (CO2). 
>   CO2 is emitted in the process of burning
>   fuels to generate energy that is used, for example, to power
>   electrical devices such as networking equipment.  Those fuels often include fossil fuels (such as oil), which releases
>  CO2 that had long
>   been removed from the earth's atmosphere), as opposed to the use of
>   renewable or sustainable fuels that do not "add" to the amount of CO2
>   in the atmosphere.
>  Other GHGs such as CH4 and N2O are associated with electricity generation as well. 
> Although they are emitted in smaller quantities, they have an even
>   higher Global Warming Potential (GWP).  To facilitate accounting for them, they are collectively simply converted into CO2 equivalents (CO2e). 
>
> Thanks
> --- Alex

> On Sep 15, 2025, at 11:02 AM, Cedric Westphal <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> Actually, I looked at the whole draft and not just the substance of
> the text, and please update my affiliation as:
> Cedric Westphal, Department of Computer Science and Engineering,
> University of California, Santa Cruz.
> The email can be updated to [email protected] but the ieee email is fine.
> That's my only request.
> Best,
>
> C.
>
> On Mon, Sep 15, 2025 at 11:00 AM Cedric Westphal <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> I approve as well!
>>
>> C.
>>
>> On Mon, Sep 15, 2025 at 12:53 AM Laurent Ciavaglia (Nokia)
>> <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>
>>> Dear Alice, dear all,
>>>
>>> I have reviewed the changes made over the AUTH48 process/period, and found them to address very well the identified issues, to improve the text and formulation overall and to not change the iniital meaning of the sentences/paragraphs.
>>> Overall this is a very good work on the document for publication readiness. Thank you Alice, RFC Editor team and co-authors for the improvements.
>>>
>>> Also, I hereby communicate my approval this RFC for publication.
>>>
>>> Thank you, best regards, Laurent
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Alice Russo <[email protected]>
>>> Sent: Saturday, 6 September, 2025 10:31 PM
>>> Cc: Alexander Clemm <[email protected]>; Alexander Clemm <[email protected]>; [email protected]; Laurent Ciavaglia (Nokia) <[email protected]>; Jeff Tantsura <[email protected]>; Marie-Paule Odini <[email protected]>; IRSG <[email protected]>; Jérôme François <[email protected]>; auth48archive <[email protected]>; RFC Editor <[email protected]>
>>> Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9845 <draft-irtf-nmrg-green-ps-06> for your review
>>>
>>> [You don't often get email from [email protected]. Learn why this is important at https://aka.ms/LearnAboutSenderIdentification ]
>>>
>>> CAUTION: This is an external email. Please be very careful when clicking links or opening attachments. See the URL nok.it/ext for additional information.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Carlos,
>>>
>>> Thank you for your reply. The revised files are here (please refresh):
>>>  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.html
>>>  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.txt
>>>  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.pdf
>>>  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.xml
>>>
>>> This diff file shows all changes from the approved I-D:
>>>  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-diff.html
>>>  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-rfcdiff.html (side by side)
>>>
>>> This diff file shows the changes made during AUTH48 thus far:
>>>  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-auth48diff.html
>>>  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-auth48rfcdiff.html (side by side)
>>>
>>> This diff file shows only the changes since the last posted version:
>>>  https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-lastrfcdiff.html
>>>
>>> In addition to the changes you requested:
>>> - removed extraneous 'to'.
>>> - lowercased 'fluorinated'.
>>> - replaced angled quotes with straight quotes per RFC style.
>>>
>>> Re:
>>>> After fixing these three nits, please note and write down my Approval
>>>> of the document at https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9845
>>>
>>> Your approval has been recorded. We await word from your coauthors and the Document Shepherd before continuing the publication process.
>>>
>>> Alice Russo
>>> RFC Production Center

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