Hi Megan,
Many thanks for your efforts.
Please see inline.

Original



From: [email protected] <[email protected]>
  
To: 肖敏10093570;彭少富10053815;[email protected] 
<[email protected]>;[email protected] 
<[email protected]>;[email protected] <[email protected]>;
  
Cc: [email protected] <[email protected]>;[email protected] 
<[email protected]>;[email protected] <[email protected]>;[email protected] 
<[email protected]>;[email protected] 
<[email protected]>;[email protected] 
<[email protected]>;
Date: 
 2025年10月21日 11:20 
  
Subject: Re: [AD] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9884 
<draft-ietf-mpls-spring-lsp-ping-path-sid-13> for your review
  


Authors and *AD,
 
While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) the 
following questions, which are also in the source file.
 
1) <!--[rfced] Please note that we have updated the title as follows (to
     include articles).
 
Original Document Title:
Label Switched Path Ping for Segment Routing Path Segment Identifier
with MPLS Data Plane

Current:
A Label Switched Path Ping for the Segment Routing Path Segment Identifier
with an MPLS Data Plane
--> 
 [XM]>>> I prefer to remain the original document title as is, because we 
already have RFCs as below.
RFC 8287: Label Switched Path (LSP) Ping/Traceroute for Segment Routing (SR) 
IGP-Prefix and IGP-Adjacency Segment Identifiers (SIDs) with MPLS Data Planes
RFC 9703: Label Switched Path (LSP) Ping/Traceroute for Segment Routing (SR) 
Egress Peer Engineering (EPE) Segment Identifiers (SIDs) with MPLS Data Plane

2) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in
the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search. --> 
 [XM]>>> Target FEC Stack, PSID.
 
3) <!--[rfced] Please review the use of the two citations in the sentence
     below.  RFC 8029 is "Detecting Multiprotocol Label Switched
     (MPLS) Data-Plane Failures" while RFC 8287 is "Label Switched
     Path (LSP) Ping/Traceroute for Segment Routing (SR) IGP-Prefix
     and IGP-Adjacency Segment Identifiers (SIDs) with MPLS Data
     Planes".
 
Original:
   Procedure for LSP Ping [RFC8029] as defined in Section 7.4 of
   [RFC8287] is also applicable to PSID, and this document appends
   existing step 4a with a new step 4b specific to PSID.
--> 
 [XM]>>> That's fine. RFC 8029 is the base spec for LSP Ping, which is extended 
by both RFC 8287 and this document for SR scenarios.
 
4) <!--[rfced] *ADs - Please confirm that no "Updates" relationship to
     RFC 8287 should be indicated in the header/Abstract/metadata of the
     document with the following text (and all of Section 4.1) in
     mind:
 
Original:
   Procedure for LSP Ping [RFC8029] as defined in Section 7.4 of
   [RFC8287] is also applicable to PSID, and this document appends
   existing step 4a with a new step 4b specific to PSID.
--> 
 
 
5) <!--[rfced] Please review our following update and let us know any
     objections.

Original:
As specified in Section 2 of [RFC9545], a PSID is used to identify a
segment list, some or all segment lists in a Candidate path or an SR
policy, so six different Target FEC Stack sub-TLVs need to be defined
for PSID.  
 
Current:
As specified in Section 2 of [RFC9545], a PSID is used to identify a
segment list and/or some or all segment lists in a Candidate path or an SR
policy, so six different Target FEC Stack sub-TLVs need to be defined
for PSID.  
--> 
 [XM]>>> Here "a segment list" is also in a Candidate path or an SR policy, so 
"and/or" seems inappropriate.
 
6) <!--[rfced] Please review the following uses of "PSID FEC Stack
     sub-TLV" and "malformed FEC Stack sub-TLV".  Other uses of "FEC
     Stack sub-TLV" begin with "Target".

Original:
....validity checks on the content of the PSID FEC Stack sub-TLV.
 
and
 
If a malformed FEC Stack sub-TLV is received...
 
Perhaps:
....validity checks on the content of the PSID Target FEC Stack sub-TLV.
 
and
 
If a malformed Target FEC Stack sub-TLV is received...
 [XM]>>> OK.
--> 
 
 
7) <!--[rfced] Please confirm that the following are the general concepts
     and not field names (note that these are examples, more instances
     occur):
 
Original:
         *  Validate that the signaled or provisioned headend, color,
            and endpoint, for the PSID, matches with the corresponding
            fields in the received SR Policy Associated PSID - IPv4 sub-
            TLV.
 
Perhaps:
         *  Validate that the signaled or provisioned Headend, Color,
            and Endpoint fields for the PSID match with the corresponding
            fields in the received SR Policy Associated PSID - IPv4 sub-TLV.
 
 
Original:
         *  Validate that the signaled or provisioned headend, color,
            endpoint, originator, and discriminator, for the PSID,
            matches with the corresponding fields in the received SR
            Candidate Path Associated PSID - IPv4 sub-TLV.
 
Perhaps:
         *  Validate that the signaled or provisioned Headend, Color,
            Endpoint, Originator, and Discriminator fields for the PSID
            match with the corresponding fields in the received SR
            Candidate Path Associated PSID - IPv4 sub-TLV.
 [XM]>>> They are the general concepts and not field names, so no changes 
needed.
--> 
 
 
8) <!--[rfced] Please note that we have updated the reference to
     draft-ietf-idr-bgp-ls-sr-policy-17 to point to the RFC-to-be: as
     this I-D is currently in AUTH48 (with nearly all approvals
     complete), we assume it will move to publication prior to the
     publication of this document.
 
Please let us know how you would like to proceed if RFC-to-be 9857 is
not published before this document (i.e., return to the I-D form of
the reference or wait for the publication of 9857).  --> 
 [XM]>>> Return to the I-D form of the reference.
 
9) <!--[rfced] We had the following questions/comments related to
     abbreviation use throughout the document:
 
a) Please note that abbreviations have been expanded upon first use.  Please 
review and confirm all expansions inserted appear as desired.
 [XM]>>> OK.
b) Please note that we will update to use the following abbreviations, instead 
of their expanded forms, after the first use in accordance with 
https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#exp_abbrev:
SR
PSID
[XM]>>> OK.
--> 
 
 
10) <!--[rfced] We had the following questions related to terminology used 
throughout the document:
 
a) We see mixed use of the following forms.  Please let us know if/how these 
should be made consistent.
 
SR path vs. SR Path
segment-list vs. Segment List vs. segment list
candidate path vs. Candidate Path vs. Candidate path
 [XM]>>> In my opinion it's not necessary to make them consistent, because the 
contexts are different.

b) Is Return Subcode <RSC> the same as "return code"?  Please review
and advise if these should be made uniform.
 [XM]>>> No, they're different. Both of them are defined in RFC 8029.
--> 
 
 
11) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the
     online Style Guide
     <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language> 
     and let us know if any changes are needed.  Updates of this
     nature typically result in more precise language, which is
     helpful for readers.
 
Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this
should still be reviewed as a best practice.
--> 
 [XM]>>> No issues found.

[XM]>>> I propose five editorial changes as below.

Section #2.2

OLD:
(Section 5.2 of [PCE-MULTIPATH])
NEW:
(Section 4.2 of [PCE-MULTIPATH])
Section #3.4

OLD:
as an SR Policy Associated PSID - IPv6 Sub-TLV
NEW:
as an SR Policy Associated PSID - IPv6 sub-TLV

Section #4

OLD:
receive an echo request and sends an echo reply
NEW:
receive an echo request and send an echo reply

Section #4.1

OLD:
(the notation <RSC> refers to the Return Subcode)
COMMENT:
the same text appears twice, please delete the second one

Section #4.1

OLD:
and segment-list-id, for the PSID
NEW:
and segment-list-id for the PSID
Cheers,
Xiao Min


Thank you.
 
Megan Ferguson
RFC Production Center
 
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--------------------------------------
RFC9884 (draft-ietf-mpls-spring-lsp-ping-path-sid-13)
 
Title            : Label Switched Path Ping for Segment Routing Path Segment 
Identifier with MPLS Data Plane
Author(s)        : X. Min, S. Peng, L. Gong, R. Gandhi, C. Pignataro
WG Chair(s)      : Tarek Saad, Tony Li, Adrian Farrel
 
Area Director(s) : Jim Guichard, Ketan Talaulikar, Gunter Van de Velde
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