David,

Regarding names, I agree with Susan M. that this will be applied in
different ways depending on cultural traditions.  This is one of many
areas where the notion of unity with diversity really comes to play.

When my husband and I were consulting, before we married, regarding my
married name to be, we had several issues to consider:  1) my
professional work already done under my maiden name of Brill, 2) my
strong desire for a family name that would linguistically and
symbolically reflect the unity of our family, 3) my desire to honor my
parents through my name (last name from my father and my middle name
Berry from my mother's family) and my own ethnicity and culture through
my names: Brill being Jewish and Berry reflecting our southern
Anglo-American/Scotch-Irish/Cherokee heritage, and 4) my husband's
desire to not change his name which had already been changed for him
when he was brought to this country as a boy.

Other issues entered into our choice.  We decided that I would follow
the same tradition of his mother's family when she married, going from
Josephina Sanchez Coello to Josephina Sanchez de Ramirez (deleting her
mother's family name Coello, keeping her father's family name of Sanchez
and adding her husband's father's family name).  I know this sounds a
bit complicated, but it really is pretty simple.  Traditionally in
Mexico, children have two last names, their father's and mother's (both
coming from the grandfathers on each side respectively).  Males would
keep both names; women would drop their mother's family name and replace
it with the paternal name of their husbands.

So I went from Susan Berry Brill to Susan Berry Brill de Ramirez.  To
shorten it a bit, I just use my middle initial: Susan B. Brill de
Ramirez.  For publications, I use the full name wanting to honor the
ancestry of my mom's family.  Since she chose to give me a family name
for my middle name (instead of a more generic middle name), I want to
honor that choice.

So, it seemed that the Mexican tradition of my husband's family seemed
the perfect choice for us.

I'm glad that we were able to go through this process.  We learned more
about each other, our families, and cultures.

Were my husband not Mexican, I would have needed a different but similar
solution (probably a hyphenated Ramirez-Brill).

Anyway here's the story of the Berry (southern) Brill (Jewish) de
Ramirez (Mexican spouse).  This worked for us.

Regards to everyone,

Susan

Dr. Susan B. Brill de Ramirez, Professor of English
Bradley University, Peoria, IL 61625
[EMAIL PROTECTED]; (309) 677-3888; fax (309) 677-2330
 

-----Original Message-----
From: David Friedman [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] 
Sent: Saturday, August 02, 2003 11:52 PM
To: Baha'i Studies
Subject: Last names

I'm just wondering if there is anything in the Faith, like perhaps a
letter, 
bearing on the issue of what name to take when one marries.  Is there an

ideal, like the woman taking the man's name, or having a hypenated name?

Occasionally the woman gets her husband to change, apparently to help
bring 
about the equality of men and women.  I don't know that that would be a 
valid reason.  The problem with hypenated names is that the generations
that 
follow could keep adding names, so that eventually one might have ten
names. 
  That would be a little silly.

Regards,
David

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