> -----Message d'origine----- > De : [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] De la part de > Xavier Antoviaque > > We should move most of the text to the notes (to be able to read it and > make sure we don't forget anything), and just let a few words on the > screen, and add more images. It will be *much* more impacting. If you > want, I can give it a try.
[David] I definitely agree, that was a next step, to keep the structure but remove a large part of the content. If you want to give it a try please go ahead, that would be great :) There is a way to do it that usually works well, it's to follow for each point the pattern fact->benefit, ex 'decentralized company' -> 'provide flexibility and openness required by open source model' > > For the pitch, what about: > > An adventure that takes place on the real web, where the player > discovers that artificial intelligences are waking up. They > offer to serve the player in exchange for his help. The player > will then team up with the AIs in their quest to gain more > consciousness, by hacking websites and impacting the web. [David] It's better than mine, thanks a lot. I'm still not convinced by ' by hacking websites and impacting the web' because there is no apparent connection with the IA part, I'll think about it. And also, our pitch gives the context but does not give a glimpse of what kind of gaming experience it is, and that would be good; this again I think we can try to review it in a couple of days. > Btw - Are you the one pitching it to the investor this week? :D > [David] sure, fine with me _______________________________________________ Hackit Bar mailing list - [email protected] Wiki: http://community.hackit.cx/ List: http://community.hackit.cx/ml/ Forum: http://community.hackit.cx/forum/ Ideas: http://community.hackit.cx/ideas/ IRC: irc://irc.freenode.net/#politis
