Please tell me I'm not the only one who sees "SLEEP SOUNDS: Stormy Weather, Rain Sounds, Wind, Thunderstorm, Rainstorm, Sounds For Sleep, 10 Hours" as the first video on the down-for-maintenance page.
First, *what the heck?* I know boardgamers are a wild & crazy bunch, but I feel like Aldie is telling me to switch to decaf: "Yes, BGG is down, but before you freak out and pour out into the street, breaking windows & setting cars on fire, take a moment to listen to these soothing sounds... your eyelids are growing heavy, like they're holding up a canvas bag with OGRE Designer's Edition inside... yes, you're getting sleepy... *shhhhhh..."* Second, I don't see how stormy weather/rain sounds help anyone relax. Sure, huddling under a blanket with the sound of rain on the roof is great when you're a *child,* but once you've made *mortgage payments* on a roof, you know the sound of rain means you need to sleep with one ear cocked, sitting bolt upright every 20 minutes because you thought you heard a drip *inside.* And *wind?* If you can hear wind, that means you're going to lay there, *taut,* staring up into the darkness, straining to hear shingles being ripped from your roof so that you can spring into action, shepherding your family down into the root cellar so that they don't take a goddamn wind-driven 2x4 to the *face.* The sound of wind means *you're done sleeping.* Third--and related to that second point--I think there's a real opportunity for certain members of the community to make some *real money,* and I will be launching my Kickstarter campaign in a few days, once I've worked out the details. Basically, the concept is a series of boardgaming-related rest & relaxation soundtracks. The first will be 10 hours of me reading the EuroFront II rulebook in calm, soothing tones: "Nine dot eleven. Railways over seas. Rail bridges; causeways. The rail lines south from Melitopol... USSR... and west from Odense... Denmark... are... *continuous* where they cross straits. Normal land movement is not allowed across these causeways, unless there is also a straits crossing. Rail ferries. Red straits arrow. Rail ferries connect the the rail lines between Reggio-Messina, across Lake Van, and Copenhagen-Odense. A rail move must stop at a rail ferry. Another rail move is used in crossing, and still another rail move is used to continue on after crossing the straits in that same movement phase." Put on your pajamas and clear your schedule for the next ten hours, because you will be *unavailable.* The second soundtrack in the series will be a four-player game of Terraforming Mars in a library. Hushed tones, the sound of players looking at cards and the board, the faint scrape of cubes sliding back and forth across player mats, long minutes of silence followed by someone murmuring "uhh, whose turn is it?"--this will be the consciousness *destroyer.* You better get comfortable *before* firing this one up, because we will not be held responsible for people pressing play and then waking up an hour later with drool on their shirt and a kink in their neck. Shoot, it'll be almost as effective as *playing* Terraforming Mars. I'm still considering options for the other soundtracks in the series, but I think you get the idea; if you want to be a part of this, post below. P.S. BGG needs to come back up *right goddamn now* because I can't *not* type [i] every time I want italics. Thank you. -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "BGG Down" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. To post to this group, send email to [email protected]. Visit this group at https://groups.google.com/group/bgg_down. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
