You gotta go old school - :thumbsup:

On Mon, Sep 10, 2018 at 11:10 PM Chris Johnson <[email protected]> wrote:

> Where's the goddamn thumb in this interface?
>
> Chris
>
> On Mon, Sep 10, 2018, 5:54 AM kuhrusty <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Please tell me I'm not the only one who sees "SLEEP SOUNDS: Stormy
>> Weather, Rain Sounds, Wind, Thunderstorm, Rainstorm, Sounds For Sleep, 10
>> Hours" as the first video on the down-for-maintenance page.
>>
>> First, *what the heck?*  I know boardgamers are a wild & crazy bunch,
>> but I feel like Aldie is telling me to switch to decaf: "Yes, BGG is down,
>> but before you freak out and pour out into the street, breaking windows &
>> setting cars on fire, take a moment to listen to these soothing sounds...
>> your eyelids are growing heavy, like they're holding up a canvas bag with
>> OGRE Designer's Edition inside... yes, you're getting sleepy...
>> *shhhhhh..."*
>>
>> Second, I don't see how stormy weather/rain sounds help anyone relax.
>> Sure, huddling under a blanket with the sound of rain on the roof is great
>> when you're a *child,* but once you've made *mortgage payments* on a
>> roof, you know the sound of rain means you need to sleep with one ear
>> cocked, sitting bolt upright every 20 minutes because you thought you heard
>> a drip *inside.*  And *wind?*  If you can hear wind, that means you're
>> going to lay there, *taut,* staring up into the darkness, straining to
>> hear shingles being ripped from your roof so that you can spring into
>> action, shepherding your family down into the root cellar so that they
>> don't take a goddamn wind-driven 2x4 to the *face.*  The sound of wind
>> means *you're done sleeping.*
>>
>> Third--and related to that second point--I think there's a real
>> opportunity for certain members of the community to make some *real
>> money,* and I will be launching my Kickstarter campaign in a few days,
>> once I've worked out the details.  Basically, the concept is a series of
>> boardgaming-related rest & relaxation soundtracks.  The first will be 10
>> hours of me reading the EuroFront II rulebook in calm, soothing tones:
>> "Nine dot eleven.  Railways over seas.  Rail bridges; causeways.  The rail
>> lines south from Melitopol... USSR... and west from Odense... Denmark...
>> are... *continuous* where they cross straits.  Normal land movement is
>> not allowed across these causeways, unless there is also a straits
>> crossing.  Rail ferries.  Red straits arrow.  Rail ferries connect the the
>> rail lines between Reggio-Messina, across Lake Van, and Copenhagen-Odense.
>> A rail move must stop at a rail ferry.  Another rail move is used in
>> crossing, and still another rail move is used to continue on after crossing
>> the straits in that same movement phase."  Put on your pajamas and clear
>> your schedule for the next ten hours, because you will be *unavailable.*
>>
>> The second soundtrack in the series will be a four-player game of
>> Terraforming Mars in a library.  Hushed tones, the sound of players looking
>> at cards and the board, the faint scrape of cubes sliding back and forth
>> across player mats, long minutes of silence followed by someone murmuring
>> "uhh, whose turn is it?"--this will be the consciousness *destroyer.*
>> You better get comfortable *before* firing this one up, because we will
>> not be held responsible for people pressing play and then waking up an hour
>> later with drool on their shirt and a kink in their neck.  Shoot, it'll be
>> almost as effective as *playing* Terraforming Mars.
>>
>> I'm still considering options for the other soundtracks in the series,
>> but I think you get the idea; if you want to be a part of this, post below.
>>
>> P.S.  BGG needs to come back up *right goddamn now* because I can't *not*
>> type [i] every time I want italics.  Thank you.
>>
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