Where's the goddamn thumb in this interface? Chris
On Mon, Sep 10, 2018, 5:54 AM kuhrusty <[email protected]> wrote: > Please tell me I'm not the only one who sees "SLEEP SOUNDS: Stormy > Weather, Rain Sounds, Wind, Thunderstorm, Rainstorm, Sounds For Sleep, 10 > Hours" as the first video on the down-for-maintenance page. > > First, *what the heck?* I know boardgamers are a wild & crazy bunch, but > I feel like Aldie is telling me to switch to decaf: "Yes, BGG is down, but > before you freak out and pour out into the street, breaking windows & > setting cars on fire, take a moment to listen to these soothing sounds... > your eyelids are growing heavy, like they're holding up a canvas bag with > OGRE Designer's Edition inside... yes, you're getting sleepy... > *shhhhhh..."* > > Second, I don't see how stormy weather/rain sounds help anyone relax. > Sure, huddling under a blanket with the sound of rain on the roof is great > when you're a *child,* but once you've made *mortgage payments* on a > roof, you know the sound of rain means you need to sleep with one ear > cocked, sitting bolt upright every 20 minutes because you thought you heard > a drip *inside.* And *wind?* If you can hear wind, that means you're > going to lay there, *taut,* staring up into the darkness, straining to > hear shingles being ripped from your roof so that you can spring into > action, shepherding your family down into the root cellar so that they > don't take a goddamn wind-driven 2x4 to the *face.* The sound of wind > means *you're done sleeping.* > > Third--and related to that second point--I think there's a real > opportunity for certain members of the community to make some *real > money,* and I will be launching my Kickstarter campaign in a few days, > once I've worked out the details. Basically, the concept is a series of > boardgaming-related rest & relaxation soundtracks. The first will be 10 > hours of me reading the EuroFront II rulebook in calm, soothing tones: > "Nine dot eleven. Railways over seas. Rail bridges; causeways. The rail > lines south from Melitopol... USSR... and west from Odense... Denmark... > are... *continuous* where they cross straits. Normal land movement is > not allowed across these causeways, unless there is also a straits > crossing. Rail ferries. Red straits arrow. Rail ferries connect the the > rail lines between Reggio-Messina, across Lake Van, and Copenhagen-Odense. > A rail move must stop at a rail ferry. Another rail move is used in > crossing, and still another rail move is used to continue on after crossing > the straits in that same movement phase." Put on your pajamas and clear > your schedule for the next ten hours, because you will be *unavailable.* > > The second soundtrack in the series will be a four-player game of > Terraforming Mars in a library. Hushed tones, the sound of players looking > at cards and the board, the faint scrape of cubes sliding back and forth > across player mats, long minutes of silence followed by someone murmuring > "uhh, whose turn is it?"--this will be the consciousness *destroyer.* You > better get comfortable *before* firing this one up, because we will not > be held responsible for people pressing play and then waking up an hour > later with drool on their shirt and a kink in their neck. Shoot, it'll be > almost as effective as *playing* Terraforming Mars. > > I'm still considering options for the other soundtracks in the series, but > I think you get the idea; if you want to be a part of this, post below. > > P.S. BGG needs to come back up *right goddamn now* because I can't *not* > type [i] every time I want italics. Thank you. > > -- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "BGG Down" group. > To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an > email to [email protected]. > To post to this group, send email to [email protected]. > Visit this group at https://groups.google.com/group/bgg_down. > For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout. > -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "BGG Down" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. To post to this group, send email to [email protected]. Visit this group at https://groups.google.com/group/bgg_down. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
