BG: Re: Re: Family Graves

[Doris Bradley]

June 6, 2004   Dear "Renee":   I don't understand.  How would my "bitterness" have anything to do with your question regarding why RALPH keeps up the "Hills of Home Cemetery" all year long for only one festival.  I endeavored to explain quite cordially and politely to everyone that Ralph keeps up his future gravesite ONLY-not the entire cemetery-which was placed there AFTER I personally selected the type, style, & my family paid for the little house my beloved parents rest in there.  I was a "working" person also who worked my way through college by attending school all day and working nights at a switchboard & weekends at a hospital switchboard-2 jobs to get my undergrad degree-at age 34. Bitterness, jealousy & false pride are pointless, destructive emotions-no matter who possesses them.  SORRY if I sounded that way to you.  I'm a sweetheart and my Dad's baby all the way.  PROUD of the name Stanley-I'd say I have more than most people to be PROUD OF.  I do, however, regret that my mother & Dad worked so terribly hard all their lives (Daddy's was terribly short but despite your stories, you won't find anyone who'll say he was anything except a caring, tender man with a sad heart and inner pain due to his father's desertion which BOTH Daddy & Ralph Stanley clearly have gone on record as saying "ruined our Mother's life & ours as well for many years".)    DID WE LOVE PAPAW F. L. STANLEY-YOU BETCHA' GAL, WE LOVED OUR PAPAW STANLEY A GREAT DEAL.  Both Daddy & Ralph cried like babies at his death & grieved-not only because they'd never see their Dad again, but for the earlier loss they suffered when he left them so young.  They blamed his 3rd wife for the most part for that desertion.  HOWEVER, I'm certain given the account I've provided, you can understand why Papaw Stanley was buried elsewhere.  Mamaw Lucy's heart was broken and she never stopped loving him.  His presence-even if he'd wanted to be buried near her would have been unbearable for Grandma Lucy Stanley.  He passed away in 1962, just before my baby sister was born, & Mamaw Lucy would have had to live within 100 yards of his grave from 1962 until her death in 1973.  I don't think she could have stood it.  Papaw Stanley had already made his arrangements to be buried next to his first wife, Louisa McCoy Stanley.  His family respected his wishes just as any of us would want our wishes on that issue respected.   Sorry-I won't apologize for my college & law school education-MY PARENTS WANTED THIS FOR ME DESPERATELY & I WORKED LIKE A DOG TO GET IT.  I'm extremely proud to be a lawyer-married to a doctor.  HOWEVER-most of my career-up to age 42 was spent working as a "blue-collar secretary & Legal Assistant", so I know what it's like to shovel coal & just like your Dad, wanted that coal mine as far away as possible.  You'll note if you go to the Washington Post article from May 23, 2004, written by Eddie Dean called "CARTER STANLEY-THE SIBLING O'BROTHER FORGOT" THAT one of the primary motivations of Carter Stanley in founding the band was to "keep away from coal mining". (www.washingtonpostonline.com).   I merely wanted to answer your question.  And yes, my siblings & I feel our father's founding of the Stanley Brothers has been forgotten & he died penniless, never having received the recognition he so richly deserved.  It's one thing to START a band, keep it going for 20 years & get nothing financially in return-THAT'S CARTER STANLEY'S LIFE STORY.  It's also pretty horrible to die a grisly death at age 41 knowing you've worked hard to leave your children enough to keep them financially secure for life-and to have that stolen from them.  It's quite another to pick up where someone else has done all the preparation & basic foundation hard work to establish a band & cry all the way to the bank.  I think enough has now been said on that subject, so let's let sleeping dogs lie.   If you're kin to Ralph Stanley, my Dad's only full brother, you're probably distantly related to me as well.  Families should stick together, no matter what.  I'm quite proud of  all my Stanley ancestors-and my Kiser, German ruling ones on Mama's side of the family as well.  They were all good people-with good hearts and that's what matters in the end.   Cordially---note that---Cordially, not bitterly or nastily, but Cordially,     Doris Stanley Bradley, LLB Attorney at Law Member, Tennessee Bar Association ----- Original Message ----- From: Renee' To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Sunday, June 06, 2004 4:19 AM Subject: BG: Re: Family Graves   We pay to "keep it up all year", expensive or not.  We want it that way because Mother & Daddy wanted it just that way.  It's worth the cost.   Cordially, Doris Stanley Bradley, LLB Member, Tennessee Bar Association Attorney at Law     Thank you for your version of the breakdown.   I'm truly sorry you sound so bitter and resentful.   Children 'do' take care of their parents cemetaries.   It's Respectful whether you're poor or you're wealthy.    Maybe you'll have a better day today. I'll pray you do.     God Bless you, Renee' S.