There was a recent entry into a contest run by Bruce Sterling (via the
Viridian list) that requested inventive conceptual-art-ish uses for tech
that responds to [and thus necessarily parses and analyzes] speech, for use
in a conceptual art object. One entry that fits this thread was a phone
that interrupted phone calls from telemarketers as soon as it "hears" stock
telemarketer phrases. It fires back such effects as an airhorn at 125dB,
return offers of deals on ozone-hole insurance, slightly threatening
comments noting that while the phone will not accept telemarketing calls,
the telemarketer's number has been logged, and requests for dates to
alleviate the owner's loneliness.
I quite enjoyed the idea of such a snappy phone. At first I thought the
airhorn was cruel -- after all, it's usually people my age and in my tax
bracket doing the telemarketing work, and why should they go deaf just
because they were stuck taking an already shitty job. Then I realized that
very soon, the standard violent responses would be countered by
filter/response subroutines in the telemarketers' phone systems, right?
Which leads me to wonder how much of our talking to one another in the
business arena will really be us, and how much our pre-emptive filters;
especially when this all transfers to a leveled medium of
telecommunications. I would certainly like a system that would allow me to
walk away from the phone when put on hold until the call was answered and
the person was ready to take care of business with me. Probably the filters
would talk to one another and then put the connection-request through for
both ends at once.
Also, on a more inquisitive level: does anyone know if voice-mail spamming
is possible, and whether it might be automatable on a computer? I got a
telemarketing message via voice mail one day and it sounded like something
that was really prerecorded and sent out en masse. Gave me the willies,
that one did.
Oh, as for "quit-phoning-me" lines: "I don't have any [optional: insert the
word "fucking" here] money and won't for the next [X] years. I'd be
interested if you wanna pay my rent for me. Wanna?" seems to work well.
Gord
