More Carlinisms:
1. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
4. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
5. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
6. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when
you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
7. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone
going faster than you is a maniac?
8. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day
when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.
9. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every
other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the
locks, they are always locking three of them.
10. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental
illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be
you.
11. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got
a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your
biggest problem.
12. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you
it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful,
but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
13. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said,
"Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know
there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."
14. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the
Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult
Bookstore.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Ricki Stern" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Wednesday, May 09, 2001 8:51 AM
Subject: Re: why this with trade !!!!!!
> and why do people drive on a parkway and park in a driveway
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> Sent: Wednesday, May 09, 2001 6:09 AM
> Subject: why this with trade !!!!!!
>
>
> > Was pondeing that,
> > Why the products being delivered by car and trucks are called shipment
> while
> > products being delivered on ship are called cargo ?? Any Clues !!
> >
> > Sincerely,
> > Amit Talwar
> > intellikaps
> > Think That's The best You'll do for yourself Ever !
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
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