Actually, most of the stuff below is from Bill Ingvall, a country comedian. He has
several versions of a song entitled "Here's Your Sign".
---------- Original Message ----------------------------------
From: "Howie Hamlin" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Reply-To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Date: Wed, 09 May 2001 09:20:20 -0400
>A few more from the wit of George Carlin:
>
>Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid".
>That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them
>anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't
>see your sign."
>
>It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and
>there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and
>says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a
>week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
>
>A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled
>his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on
>the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope -Talked 'em into giving
>up. Here's your sign."
>
>I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel.
>There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to
>test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They
>want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when
>they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
>
>Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
>side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my
>truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist.
>I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right
>up on me. Here's your sign."
>
>We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to
>the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
>house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then
>says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have
>stopped him.
>
>I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya
>know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I
>couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually
>a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic
>questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a
>sign...until he asked "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help
>myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him
>and said "no I'm deliverin' a bridge ... here's your sign."
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Ricki Stern" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Sent: Wednesday, May 09, 2001 8:51 AM
>Subject: Re: why this with trade !!!!!!
>
>
>> and why do people drive on a parkway and park in a driveway
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>> To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>> Sent: Wednesday, May 09, 2001 6:09 AM
>> Subject: why this with trade !!!!!!
>>
>>
>> > Was pondeing that,
>> > Why the products being delivered by car and trucks are called shipment
>> while
>> > products being delivered on ship are called cargo ?? Any Clues !!
>> >
>> > Sincerely,
>> > Amit Talwar
>> > intellikaps
>> > Think That's The best You'll do for yourself Ever !
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>>
>
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