I do feel somewhat better now knowing that I'm not the only person in
the semi-depression boat. It's just been so strange these past few days
because I've gone through so many emotions that I can't get my arms
around. I like to think that I'm strong and mentally stable, but the
last few days have definitely challenged that perception of myself. It's
not that I keep my feelings in, but I at least try to keep my emotions
under control and guide them in the right direction so they may be
useful instead of destructive.
What's strange is that when this first happened, I think I was in
complete shock because I didn't have huge emotion swings. But the last
two days, I go home, watch the news and swing back and forth between
extreme anger and crying like a little baby all roled up in the fetal
position. What gets me angry is watching the constant replay of the
airplanes going into the towers and then seeing them fall. What makes me
cry are the stories of various victims and seeing other people cry. I
really lost it last night when I was watching the changing of the guard
in the UK on t.v. and they were playing the national anthem. The
reporter said that had never been done before - I weeped like a baby.
For a moment, the world became this really small place where everybody
knew everybody else and we all reached out to each other as if we were
all family.
Well, I'm heading home now to, undoubtedly, another night of anger and
crying. I know this is good though. If I feel like this, I can't imagine
what those people that have lost loved ones feel.
Wow, this has turned into a therapy session!
Thanks for reading!
Mark
-----Original Message-----
From: Jennifer [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
Sent: Friday, September 14, 2001 4:55 PM
To: CF-Community
Subject: RE: Is it just me?
Me too. I am functionally overwhelmed.
I swear to you I have spent the last three days watching the news and
responding to email. It's been so hard to get any work done. I mean,
there's this overwhelming tragedy. I keep checking the victim lists for
updates to see if anyone I was ever friends with is missing. I've been
searching the internet for old boyfriends who moved to NYC years ago. I
can't even watch the news anymore. Most of the time I'm disgusted with
this
tragedy and the rest of the time I'm disgusted with the coverage of it.
Beyond that, there are huge issues facing our country right now and I
get
updates, editorials that tick me off that I feel must be responded to.
I've
been in crypto debates, racism debates, sexism debates, human rights
debates, privacy debates. I know a bunch of people who have been trying
to
calm people down and get them to think rationally but the majority of
the
things I see really scare me.
How can I work when everything is hysterical and it's taking all of my
power just to be ok?
At 01:39 PM 9/14/2001 -0700, you wrote:
>Right with you on this one Mark.
>
>-Shawn Regan
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Mark Stewart [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
>Sent: Friday, September 14, 2001 1:15 PM
>To: CF-Community
>Subject: Is it just me?
>
>
>Is anybody having a really hard time concentrating on their work or is
>it just me? I feel like my brain is so full of what's been happening
the
>last few days and that it's taken over the programming knowledge
>quadrant of my little pea brain. I find myself looking at code and just
>drawing a blank stare. :-\
>
>
>
>
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