Well let's see. He's been out of the relationship for how many years
and is still controlling her? I realize you think he is doing this out
of love a for her own good and all that. But it's been a decade and he
is still holding on. You may object that it does not make sense for
him to be doing this out of anything but concern for her but hey it
doesn't make sense to kill you ex and your children with her because
she had the nerve to leave you, and this is done all the time.

Any Google search on domestic violence will bring forth the statistic
that women in such relationships are most likely to be seriously hurt
when they try to leave, as she allegedly had. Or get pregnant, as she
had allegedly been trying to do. The latter was the subject of a major
study by the Washington Post just very recently.

Even his supporters here say he is an asshole. He is reported to fly
into rages over minor deviations from his instructions. Oh hell, let
me bring up a list here.....make sure you read all the way to the end,
btw.

http://crime.about.com/od/women/a/abuse040721.htm

(snip)

The following checklist of behaviors was developed by the New York
State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence to help determine
if someone is being abused.


Does your partner. . .
Use emotional and psychological control? 
Call you names, yell, put you down, make racial or homophobic slurs,
or constantly criticize or undermine you and your abilities as a wife,
partner, or mother?

Behave in an overprotective way or become extremely jealous? 

Make it difficult for you to see family or friends, or "badmouth" your
family and friends?

Prevent you from going where you want to, when you want to, and with
whomever you want to?

Humiliate or embarrass you in front of other people? 

Use economic control? 

Deny you access to family assets like bank accounts, credit cards, or car? 

Control all the finances, force you to account for what you spend, or
take your money?

Prevent you from getting or keeping a job or from going to school? 

Limit your access to health, prescription and/or dental insurance?

Make threats? 

Threaten to report you to the authorities (the police, courts, or
child protective services) for something you didn't do?

Threaten to harm or kidnap the children? 

Make you afraid by using looks, actions or gestures? 

Display weapons as a way of making you afraid or directly threaten you
with weapons?

Use anger or "loss of temper" as a threat to get you to do what he wants? 

Threaten to expose your sexual orientation to friends, family, or
employer, if you are gay or lesbian?

Threaten to report you to INS or immigration? 

Commit acts of physical violence? 

Carry out threats to hurt you, your children, pets, family members,
friends, or himself?

Destroy personal property or throw things around? 

Grab, push, hit, punch, slap, kick, choke, or bite you? 

Force you to have sex when you don't want to or to engage in sexual
acts that you don't want to do?

Prevent you from taking medications or getting medical care? 

Deny you access to food, fluids or sleep? 

The above are common tactics used by abusers to control their
partners, but not the only ones. Anything that your partner does to
restrict your personal freedom, or that make you afraid, could be a
indication of domestic abuse.



On Wed, 30 Mar 2005 16:08:05 -0600, Gruss Gott <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> > Dana  wrote:
> > You'd think but it wouldn't necessarily be the case. Maybe she thinks
> > she's better off with him.
> >
> 
> I'm still curious as to why you think Mr. Schiavo fits the profile of
> an abuser.  To me he seems terse, but not an abuser.  But then I don't
> know any abusers (I think) so I wouldn't know what one is like.
> 
> It does remind me of my favorite battered spouse joke, though, which
> I'll change for fun:
> 
> How many battered husbands does it take to change a lightbulb?  One,
> if he knows what's good for him.
> 
> 

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