So, this is MY answer. It does not apply to all adoptive parents.

1) If you adopt in America, you run the risk of the biological parent
changing her mind. Every state has a different rule. But the fact is -
I do not want to bring a child into my house, a child that I will fall
in love with instantly (yes, it happens), and then have to give up
that child. To me, this is bullshit. I don't mean we should take away
rights from the biological parents - but the decision should be final.
It is bullshit to say, You are the parents, but for 90 days the
biological mother can change her mind.

That is the number one reason we didn't adopt in the US.

2) If we adopted locally, we had 2 choices. Get a white or black baby.
A white baby takes _years_ to get. A black baby can come a lot faster,
but unfortunately, many social workers are against this. You see, it
is much better for a black child to be an orphan than to be raised by
a honkey. (Ok, sorry, that was bitter and sarcastic, and maybe it is
easy for me to say it since I'm white, but how can someone care so
much about race that they don't care if a child has a home?)

So that covers "Why not here..." As for why Asian? Every country you
adopt from has their own rules. Every adoption agency has their own
rules. Imagine a tree w/ about 500 choices and you have an idea of how
hard the choice can be. Many of the non-Asian countries, like Russia,
are having serious issues lately w/ adoptions. This was true back in
the time my wife and I did our adoptions. Adopting from Latin America
was out of the question, if I remember right, because you needed to
fly down there for multiple weeks.

This pretty much left India, China, and Korea. I forgot why we ruled
out India - it may have been because the local agencies didn't do
India. China requires you to fly out there for 2 weeks, which I'm sure
is wonderful, but we couldn't do that at the time. China also gives
you kids around 1-2 years old, although that has improved. Korea can
get you a child as young as 6 months (ours came home at 6 months, 8.5
months, and 11 months), and doesn't require travel.

So for -us-, the choice had nothing to do with race, but just how
quickly we could get a healthy child. (Some agencies require you to
get special needs kids. Korea sometimes makes you do that. Two of our
kids were special needs, but -very- minimal special needs.)




On 10/14/05, Matthew Small <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> I heard an interesting statement recently - and let me first say, no offense
> is intended, Ray, this is purely a philosophical question - that adopting
> Asian children is the "trendy" thing to do.  I wonder about that myself -
> why go to Asia? Are there no children here in the US that need adopting? Is
> it because Asian children are smarter than other children?  Why an Asian
> child as opposed to say, African-American?  I'm under the impression
> (meaning I think it is true but don't know the fact) that there is a large
> number of African American children in the US that could stand to be
> adopted.
>
>
> Ok, I'm done.
>
> Matthew Small
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Jerry Johnson [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Sent: Friday, October 14, 2005 10:07 AM
> To: CF-Community
> Subject: Re: Adoption (and other means) are cheating
>
> Just reading your headline, I agreed.
>
> Adoption is cheating.
>
> The woman gets to skip the bloating, the nausia and the pain, and the
> man gets to skip pretending he cares.
>
> =)
>
> Jerry Johnson
>
>
>
> 

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