Heeheehee. Personally, I just sing, "Satan loves me, this I know, for the voices tell me so...."
But that is just fantastic. --Ben Jerry Johnson wrote: > Apocryphal, but interesting none-the-less: > > > Who's that knocking on the door? > A Buddhist's Guide to Evangelical Christianity > By Ven. Dhammika > > About six months ago there was a knock on > my door and I opened it to find two evangelical > Christians there. I knew they were evangel- > icals because they had that fake friendly sickly > smile on their faces, which all evangelicals > have when they are trying to convert someone. > > This was the third time that month that evan- > gelists had come knocking on my door and > disturbing me so I decided to teach them > a lesson. 'Good morning' they said. 'Good > morning' I replied. > > 'Have you heard about the Lord Jesus Christ'? > they asked. 'I know something about him but > I am a Buddhist and I'm not really interested > in knowing more' I said. But like all evan- > gelists, they took no notice of my wishes > and proceeded to talk about their beliefs. > > So I said, 'I don't think you are qualified > to speak to me about Jesus'. They looked very > astonished and asked, 'Why not'? 'Because', > I said, 'you have no faith'. 'Our faith in > Jesus is as strong as a rock' they insisted. > 'I don't think it is' I said with a smile. > > 'Please open your Bible and read the Gospel > of Mark, chapter 16, verse 16, 17 and 18' I > said and while they flicked through their > Bibles I went quickly inside & came out again. > One of them found the passage and I asked > him to read it out loud. It said, 'He who > believes and is baptized will be saved but > he who does not believe shall be condemned. > And these signs will follow those who believe > in my name. They shall cast out devils, they > shall speak in tongues, they will handle snakes > and if they drink poison it will not hurt > them and they will lay hands on the sick and > they will recover'. > > When he finished I said, 'In that passage > Jesus says that if you have real faith you will > be able to drink poison and not die'. I took > a bottle of Lankem from behind my back, held > it up and said, 'Here is some poison. Demon- > strate to me the strength of your faith and I > will listen to anything you have to say about > Jesus'. > > You should have seen the looks on their faces! > They didn't know what to say. 'What's the > problem'? I asked. 'Is your faith not strong > enough'? They hesitated for a few moments and > then one of them replied, 'The Bible also says > that we must not test God'. 'I'm not testing God', > I said, 'I'm testing you. You love to witness > for Jesus and now is your big opportunity'. > Finally one of then said, 'We will go and > speak to our pastor about this matter and come > back and see you. 'I'll be waiting for you' > I said as they scurried away. > > Of course they never came back again. > > Here is a bit of advice. Keep a copy of this > Bible reference and a bottle of Lankem ready > and every time the evangelists come to your > door to harass you give them this test. You > might like to have a polanga ready as well. > =========================================== > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:198956 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
