Funny story... A few years ago I lived in a band house, myself, my guitarist and bass player, his college roommate and roomie's g/f.
We're all sitting around the dining room table one day and there's a knock at the front door. Bass player answers, wearing a Slayer T-shirt. "Hi, were here representing Jesus Christ!! And the Latter Day Saints" Bass Player(In this most doomy voice): "You'll find no interested souls here" meanwhile the college roomie has snuck out the backdoor with a tape measure. He sneaks up behind them and starts measuring across the shoulders and from head to toe... Roomie to Bass player (loudly) Dude... they'll fit.. get the goat and light the candles... Mormons can run really, really fast.... Scott A. Stewart Webmaster/ Developer 11820 Parklawn Dr Rockville, MD 20852 (301) 770-9610 x 335 -----Original Message----- From: Ben Doom [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Monday, March 06, 2006 10:02 AM To: CF-Community Subject: Re: Passing along: A Buddhist's Guide to Evangelical Christianity Heeheehee. Personally, I just sing, "Satan loves me, this I know, for the voices tell me so...." But that is just fantastic. --Ben Jerry Johnson wrote: > Apocryphal, but interesting none-the-less: > > > Who's that knocking on the door? > A Buddhist's Guide to Evangelical Christianity > By Ven. Dhammika > > About six months ago there was a knock on > my door and I opened it to find two evangelical > Christians there. I knew they were evangel- > icals because they had that fake friendly sickly > smile on their faces, which all evangelicals > have when they are trying to convert someone. > > This was the third time that month that evan- > gelists had come knocking on my door and > disturbing me so I decided to teach them > a lesson. 'Good morning' they said. 'Good > morning' I replied. > > 'Have you heard about the Lord Jesus Christ'? > they asked. 'I know something about him but > I am a Buddhist and I'm not really interested > in knowing more' I said. But like all evan- > gelists, they took no notice of my wishes > and proceeded to talk about their beliefs. > > So I said, 'I don't think you are qualified > to speak to me about Jesus'. They looked very > astonished and asked, 'Why not'? 'Because', > I said, 'you have no faith'. 'Our faith in > Jesus is as strong as a rock' they insisted. > 'I don't think it is' I said with a smile. > > 'Please open your Bible and read the Gospel > of Mark, chapter 16, verse 16, 17 and 18' I > said and while they flicked through their > Bibles I went quickly inside & came out again. > One of them found the passage and I asked > him to read it out loud. It said, 'He who > believes and is baptized will be saved but > he who does not believe shall be condemned. > And these signs will follow those who believe > in my name. They shall cast out devils, they > shall speak in tongues, they will handle snakes > and if they drink poison it will not hurt > them and they will lay hands on the sick and > they will recover'. > > When he finished I said, 'In that passage > Jesus says that if you have real faith you will > be able to drink poison and not die'. I took > a bottle of Lankem from behind my back, held > it up and said, 'Here is some poison. Demon- > strate to me the strength of your faith and I > will listen to anything you have to say about > Jesus'. > > You should have seen the looks on their faces! > They didn't know what to say. 'What's the > problem'? I asked. 'Is your faith not strong > enough'? They hesitated for a few moments and > then one of them replied, 'The Bible also says > that we must not test God'. 'I'm not testing God', > I said, 'I'm testing you. You love to witness > for Jesus and now is your big opportunity'. > Finally one of then said, 'We will go and > speak to our pastor about this matter and come > back and see you. 'I'll be waiting for you' > I said as they scurried away. > > Of course they never came back again. > > Here is a bit of advice. Keep a copy of this > Bible reference and a bottle of Lankem ready > and every time the evangelists come to your > door to harass you give them this test. You > might like to have a polanga ready as well. > =========================================== > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:198960 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
