The last time they pestered up, I just smiled and said that I can't really talk, the ferrets are out and I got to stop one of them from getting outside. Then I said, here could you hold this one - and I held out a squirming ferret. They left right after that.
larry On 3/6/06, Ben Doom <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Heeheehee. > > Personally, I just sing, "Satan loves me, this I know, for the voices > tell me so...." > > But that is just fantastic. > > --Ben > > Jerry Johnson wrote: > > Apocryphal, but interesting none-the-less: > > > > > > Who's that knocking on the door? > > A Buddhist's Guide to Evangelical Christianity > > By Ven. Dhammika > > > > About six months ago there was a knock on > > my door and I opened it to find two evangelical > > Christians there. I knew they were evangel- > > icals because they had that fake friendly sickly > > smile on their faces, which all evangelicals > > have when they are trying to convert someone. > > > > This was the third time that month that evan- > > gelists had come knocking on my door and > > disturbing me so I decided to teach them > > a lesson. 'Good morning' they said. 'Good > > morning' I replied. > > > > 'Have you heard about the Lord Jesus Christ'? > > they asked. 'I know something about him but > > I am a Buddhist and I'm not really interested > > in knowing more' I said. But like all evan- > > gelists, they took no notice of my wishes > > and proceeded to talk about their beliefs. > > > > So I said, 'I don't think you are qualified > > to speak to me about Jesus'. They looked very > > astonished and asked, 'Why not'? 'Because', > > I said, 'you have no faith'. 'Our faith in > > Jesus is as strong as a rock' they insisted. > > 'I don't think it is' I said with a smile. > > > > 'Please open your Bible and read the Gospel > > of Mark, chapter 16, verse 16, 17 and 18' I > > said and while they flicked through their > > Bibles I went quickly inside & came out again. > > One of them found the passage and I asked > > him to read it out loud. It said, 'He who > > believes and is baptized will be saved but > > he who does not believe shall be condemned. > > And these signs will follow those who believe > > in my name. They shall cast out devils, they > > shall speak in tongues, they will handle snakes > > and if they drink poison it will not hurt > > them and they will lay hands on the sick and > > they will recover'. > > > > When he finished I said, 'In that passage > > Jesus says that if you have real faith you will > > be able to drink poison and not die'. I took > > a bottle of Lankem from behind my back, held > > it up and said, 'Here is some poison. Demon- > > strate to me the strength of your faith and I > > will listen to anything you have to say about > > Jesus'. > > > > You should have seen the looks on their faces! > > They didn't know what to say. 'What's the > > problem'? I asked. 'Is your faith not strong > > enough'? They hesitated for a few moments and > > then one of them replied, 'The Bible also says > > that we must not test God'. 'I'm not testing God', > > I said, 'I'm testing you. You love to witness > > for Jesus and now is your big opportunity'. > > Finally one of then said, 'We will go and > > speak to our pastor about this matter and come > > back and see you. 'I'll be waiting for you' > > I said as they scurried away. > > > > Of course they never came back again. > > > > Here is a bit of advice. Keep a copy of this > > Bible reference and a bottle of Lankem ready > > and every time the evangelists come to your > > door to harass you give them this test. You > > might like to have a polanga ready as well. > > =========================================== > > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:198962 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
