You might get faster replies if you cc me directly, although given
that email is likely to be reasonably inaccessible to me starting
tomorrow, you may not get a fast response anyway.

Tim Heald said:
> So let me understand this, you said you were quitting.
>
> Here you are posting.
>
> But your a man of your word.
>
> This is in no way contradictory to you?

Did you read the message, Tim?

This isn't a retorical question, I would actually like to know if you
read it.

I had rather assumed you had, because you'd responded to it, but it
doesn't appear you did.

I never said I was leaving permanently. As a matter of fact, I
expressed fairly clearly my desire to be involved in this community in
the future.

So unless you believe that for example when a coworker of yours says,
"I'm taking the week off for a vacation" they literally mean "goodbye,
one and all! Have a nice life, 'cause I hope I never see any of you
again!" then no, it's not contradictory.

You need to read the words, Tim, and apply their "objective" meanings.


Shit, even the subject was "taking a break" -- which in and of itself
implies that there will be an end to the break. So even if you'd only
read the subject line and none of the message, there would be no way
you could misconstrue this as having meant that I would be gone
forever.

The break was a little shorter than I'd originally thought. And
technically it's not over, though that's really because I'm not going
to have direct access to email for a while, so even personal messages
are going to get delayed responses. I might have held off a few more
days on posting these threads if I didn't have this project starting.

>You claim all you wanted was for this shit to
>end, yet you continued to post, even now, and
>I'm expected to sit back and do and say nothing
>or I look like a thug and a hooligan.
>Guess what?  I am.  I always have been.

Hey man, I'm just tryin' to clear the air. If you want to continue to
make things worse there's nothing I can do about that. I don't expect
you to "sit back and say nothing" -- I may not "know" you, but I know
you well enough to know you'll say something.

>You were made to look like a punk, partially
>by your own words.

Yeah, I overreacted. It happens sometimes.

>You did initially run away, and apparently
>have decided to jump in, take a parting
>shot, and run away again.

Mmmmm... nope... read the messages Tim, it doesn't do you any good if
you just ignore what I'm saying.

> If you weren't intimidated why did you continue
> to write me off list, apologize, and call me a
> bully repeatedly?

The fact that I didn't and still don't cow-tow to you is evidence that
I'm not intimidated. I apologized because I feel an apology was
warranted. I called you a bully because you have been exhibiting what
I perceive to be the behavior of bullies. I've explained it in no
uncertain terms, but you have yet to respond to my description of what
makes it bully behavior. But these three things are separate issues.

>>> I told you a VERY public apology, and I go away.

>>Define very.

>Hey look there is where you finally took a stand,
>after you found out you had miscalculated.

>>Then you'll always be a bully. Being offended by
>>a verbal comment, you choose to not only respond
>>with verbal abuse (which I will admit to having
>>done and in this case instigated -- this is me
>>owning up and taking responsibility for my actions)

>Funny to me that I am a bully when you very obviously
>instigated this all.

How exactly did I instigate threats of physical violence? How exactly
did I drag someone else's entirely uninvolved girlfriend into the
middle of it? (I'll disclude comments about careers here, since you've
provided a tenuous line of reasoning.)

> Hey look, you had no problem admitting it was your
> fault off list, why not man up, and take
> responsibility for your actions man?

You obviously misunderstood what I was saying. I was owning up to
having called you names. Period. That is the only injustice I did to
you and it is the only injustice you will receive an apology for.
Whether you take responsibility for having escalated it to other
realms is entirely another question, and I have neither demanded nor
even requested an apology for it. And I won't.

Technically what you did wasn't to request an apology, you gave me an
ultimatum; apologize or potentially suffer physical bodily injury (or
whatever other form of injury you can think to inflict on me). You did
actually receive an apology, although it wasn't a result of the
ultimatum since I'd already provided it before I read the ultimatum.
And technically the apology you received didn't fulfill the demand of
the ultimatum since I didn't post it on cf-talk.

> By the way, why do you call your psychotic ranting
> a comment, but my own verbal abuse?

I have described my own comments as abusive. You would know that if
you read the subsequent messages. I overreacted and I called you
names. It's admittedly childish, but how is that psychotic?

> Feeling sorry for yourself again?

Nope.

>>I accept responsibility for having made hurtful
>>comments and am willing to make restitution.

>I told you what form I wanted that restitution to
>take.  It's about respect.

I don't believe that. I don't believe it because respect can not be
achieved via an ultimatum. Fear perhaps, although not in this case.

>Also, I didn't try and ruin your career.  I just
>figure that the community deserves to know what
>kind of people are around, what kind of people
>are supposedly at the forefront of our industry.

I will accept that (and retract the comment). It did have the outward
appearance of an attempt to ruin my career.

>You said something about getting into a career
>ruining war with me, well it's kind of hard to
>do when you don't have a job, isn't it?

Fuck no, it's not hard at all. :) I realise this was just another
attempt at a cheap shot. This is the longest I've been out of a
full-time job in several years and at the moment it's been about a
month. So yeah, the things I say now could certianly have an affect on
my career in the future.

>So lets review:

Lets

>you lied when you said you were
>leaving the list,

Nope. You didn't read what I said or failed to comprehend it. It makes
no difference to me which you choose, but it's one or the other.

>lied when you said you wanted to
>provide restitution,

Nope. I provided restitution for the offense I believed warranted
resitution.

> lied about our little war, as
> you have no career.

Hmmm... Another attempt at a cheap shot.
8 years of experience says differently.

> So far, what I get is that you are
> anything but a man of your word.

Only if you believe zero out of three aint bad. Doesn't look like good
odds to me.

>I freely admit I was angry as hell when I was
>posting the other night.  I still don't think
>I said anything you didn't deserve.

Okay. I think that puts you in the minority.

>Maybe my language was more off color than normal,
>but everything I said was true. Well, I guess
>it's hard to explain truth to a liar that doesn't
>understand that words have objective meanings.

When are you going to drive down here in person so you can hurt me
physically? You're right, it's not that far from DC, only a few hours
drive. I see this honesty thing is very important to you. I'm certain
you wouldn't want people to think you levy empty threats, since that
would make you a liar and you really can't have that. Be my
huckleberry. :)


s. isaac dealey     434.293.6201
new epoch : isn't it time for a change?

add features without fixtures with
the onTap open source framework

http://www.fusiontap.com
http://coldfusion.sys-con.com/author/4806Dealey.htm


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:204381
Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5
Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5
Unsubscribe: 
http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5
Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54

Reply via email to