please stop this. I am sure I am not the only person wincing here. This is not 
a court of law where we have to calculate percentages of reponsibility. The 
other night was a train wreck and you both contributed.

Just. Let. It. Go. Both. Of. You. Please. 



>I've had some time for introspection. Personally I find that the
>writing process
>
>helps me to deconstruct my thoughts and my emotions, so I'm preparing
>to post my
>
>deconstructed thoughts in another thread.
>
>Before I do that I want to make a few things perfectly clear:
>
>I am a man of my word. I have read the recent entries on these threads
>via the
>
>archives (it's mildly frustrating to guess who's saying what in some
>cases). I
>
>will continue to answer personal email.
>
>I did not
>- get punkd
>- run away
>- back down
>- lose a fight
>
>I am not a child. I was not then and am not now fighting anyone. I was
>then and am
>
>now engaging in conversation (however confrontational it might have
>been).
>
>I was not intimidated and no one "put me in my place". Had I been
>intimidated I
>
>would have posted a lip-service apology on cf-talk as had been
>requested (and may
>
>have called the police as was suggested by Tim). As with anyone else,
>had I been
>
>intimidated any apology I may have appeared to make would not have
>been a genuine
>
>apology. As such imo it's better that I was not intimidated, since I
>was able to
>
>offer a genuine apology motivated by my own feeling that my comments
>warranted an
>
>apology. You'll all have to make up your own mind whether you believe
>I was
>
>intimidated or you believe the apology was genuine, because the two
>are mutually
>
>exclusive.
>
>The strangest correction I have is to Tim's apparent cognitive
>dissonance over my
>
>job search situation. Yes, Tim sent me a lead or two. In spite of what
>he's said,
>
>I contacted them and as far as I recall none of the leads Tim sent me
>said I
>
>expected too much money (Tim, feel free to rebut if you have an email
>that
>
>contradicts this). On the contrary they offered me potentially more
>than what I
>
>described as my minimum salary. I have been told by one or two people
>that I want
>
>too much money, but they are in the minority and none of them were
>leads from Tim.
>
>One of them expected me to be grateful for a job in Richmond at $20k
>less than my
>
>last full-time job, so I find it difficult to take her seriously when
>there are
>
>other people offering me what I'm asking or more.
>
>As I've said before, I don't spend all my time wallowing in
>self-pitty. I address
>
>my problems with action, when action is fruitless I vent my
>frustrations and I
>
>move on to the next problem.
>
>Oh and... where did anybody get the bizarre notion that I was
>complaining about
>
>people using personal information about me in their replies? I pointed
>out in a
>
>previous thread that I don't consider the job situation to be relevant
>in these
>
>matters. I was no more than annoyed by Tim's having dragged it over to
>cf-talk
>
>where it doesn't belong in an attempt to ruin my career. I was amazed
>he had the
>
>gaul to drag my girlfriend into it and think that was just peachy --
>she did
>
>nothing to him or anyone else. I have however posted personal
>information on the
>
>list, and just as it is available for people to use against me in live
>
>conversation it's also available for people to use against me here and
>I accept
>
>responsibility for that. I don't recall ever telling anyone it was
>unethical or
>
>even not to use it. I do recall rebutting certain specific points,
>although I
>
>simply ignored many comments simply because I didn't consider them
>relevant and
>
>was limiting the amount of time I spent on responses.
>
>Others have expressed different opinions about my having been
>dissected in this
>
>way, and I see their concern in spite of the fact that I personally am
>not more
>
>than annoyed by it. I would be more concerned that others would be put
>off by the
>
>threats of physical violence that I dismissed.
>
>I have not yet reinstated my subscription preferences, so I'm still
>reading the
>
>list via the archives. I probably won't reinstate them for a month,
>less because
>
>of the need for introspection and more because I expect to be in a
>hotel on
>
>contract for much of the next month (and without a laptop), and will
>probably also
>
>change my cf-talk preferences because I don't expect to have much
>access to email.
>
>After this contract things will change of course, I'll probably be out
>of state,
>
>but I hope to be picking up a laptop and maybe taking my desktop with
>me. At that
>
>point I'll figure out whether I have time to be involved in the
>community list
>
>based on my workload and living situation.
>
>s. isaac dealey     434.293.6201
>new epoch : isn't it time for a change?
>
>add features without fixtures with
>the onTap open source framework
>
>http://www.fusiontap.com
>http://coldfusion.sys-con.com/author/4806Dealey.htm

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