My aunt and uncle on my mother's side are mildly retarded/socially disabled.
They're in their 60's now and can live on their own with supervision. After
my grandparents died, my mom and my other uncle took over responsibility for
them by finding them an apartment, taking them grocery shopping, getting
them help through special programs, etc. Luckily, they know the basics of
money, preparing food, personal hygiene and all that, so they can live
pretty independently, but as they've gotten older and had more health
problems my mom and uncle had to put them in a group home where they're
supervised 24/7. It was a hard adjustment, especially because the first home
they were in was not the best of places -- unsanitary, employees were
borderline abusive, all that fun stuff. Now they're in a good facility with
an activities director, on call doctors, nutritious food.

More than likely if they hadn't had my mom and uncle to help them, they
would have become the responsibility of the state, much like orphaned
children, and lord knows where they would have ended up. Usually the state
will put such people in state-run facilities where conditions are beyond
unimaginable. 

If disabled adults are lucky enough to have family willing to help them,
they usually become the responsibility of those family members (I imagine I
or my sister will take over caring for my aunt and uncle if they outlive my
mom/other uncle). 

But those without family to help face bleak futures in a potentially
horrific group home. It usually all hinges on what state they live in.

-----Original Message-----
From: Vivec [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] 
Sent: Thursday, December 20, 2007 9:44 AM
To: CF-Community
Subject: What happens to retarded children when their parents die?

I was driving the other day and I saw this retarded child/adult with
his mother trying to pack some stuff into a car.

And he was so happy and smiling! Enjoying every minute of the day it seemed.

And I suddenly thought, what's going to happen to him when she goes?
She wasn't frail looking...but at some point he's going to outlive her.

What then?



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