The first steps of conflict negotiation is to determine what the
problems are on both sides.  Have you tried asking your daughter why
she is behaving in this way?  A reasoned, quiet discussion with her
might bring out issues of which you are unaware.  When a sweet, loving
child turns petulant, there is always an underlying cause -
self-esteem issues, being bullied at school, jealous of the other
siblings - something that she can't express.   If she refuses to have
a conversation with you, I'd recommend  a family counselor to get to
the root of the problem.  Although you may not know it, your child is
in pain, and she is crying out for help.

As for punishment, I've always been a fan of the carrot and not the
stick.  I never struck my children, not even a spank on the hand when
they were babies.  I did set firm rules, and enforced them, but more
by rewarding their good behavior.

On Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 5:16 PM, Michael Dinowitz
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
> It falls under the heading of "what can I do". I don't spank my kids and
> even if I did, you can't spank a girl after a certain age. I can't take away
> privileges because she just laughs it off. Stop her from seeing friends? She
> sees them in school and that's enough for her. She doesn't have a cell
> phone, does not have internet access (even when we allowed her on the
> computer) and we don't really watch TV (except what I download).
>
> I need parenting class to learn how to deal with her. No joke here. I just
> don't know what to do.

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