(sorry guys, but some of these were funny)

WHY DO MARRIED MEN USUALLY PREDECEASE THEIR WIVES?
ANSWER: BECAUSE THEY WANT TO!!!!

WITNESS THE FOLLOWING EXAMPLES

My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and 
said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. 
When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted 
it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to 
make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman 
says, "I'll miss you."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as 
he stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what do you think 
the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like 
this?" "Probably that I married you for your money", 
she replied.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, 
sensitive man?
A: A rumor

He said - "Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted 
to make love to you really badly."
She said - "Well, you succeeded."

He said - "Two inches more and I would be king."
She said - "Two inches less, and you'd be queen."

On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me 
everywhere..."
Written just below it: "I do not".

He said - "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"
She said - "That's a good idea...you stand by the 
ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."

He said - "What have you been doing with all the grocery 
money?"
She said - "Turn sideways and look in the mirror."

-Ben


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