Axis of Evil Wannabees
>>by John Cleese
>>
>>Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya,
>>China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just as
>>Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid
>>Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the
>>Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the
>>new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are
>>just as evil .. .in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim
>>Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils . . best at being evil
>>. .we're the best."
>>
>>Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
>>although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of
>>Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar
>>al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than three countries", explained
>>Iraqi President Saddam Hussien. "This is not my rule, it's
>>tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil
>>Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is
>>wickedly cool."
>>
>>International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
>>within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations
>>rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of
>>geopolitical chairs.
>>
>>Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of
>>Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the
>>"Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia
>>established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally
>>Disagreeable".
>>
>>With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
>>up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis
>>of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host
>>the Olympics".
>>
>>Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are
>>Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America",
>>while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries
>>That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat,really, just
>>something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack
>>McConnell.
>>
>>While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
>>fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he
>>rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
>>"Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false
>>application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the
>>charges.
>>
>>Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
>>privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them
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