lol....i like the milk carton one... -----Original Message----- From: William Wheatley [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Tuesday, June 10, 2003 10:40 AM To: CF-Community Subject: humor
A recent study found out which days men prefer to have sex. It was found that men preferred to engage in sexual activity on the days that started with the letter "T". Examples of those days are as follows: Tuesday Thursday Thanksgiving Today Tomorrow Thaturday Thunday _________________________________ A recent survey was conducted to discover why men get out of bed in the middle of the night: 5% said it was to get a glass of water 12% said it was to go to the toilet 83% said it was to go home __________________________________ The perfect breakfast.......as a man sees it... You're sitting at the table and your son is on the cover of Wheaties, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of the milk carton. _________________________________ Jenny's husband, Charley, was a male chauvinist. Even though they both worked full-time, he never helped around the house. Housework was woman's work! But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished; something's up. It turns out that Charley had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex. The night went well and the next day she told her office friends all about it. "We had a great dinner. Charley even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening." "But what about afterward?" asked her friends. "Oh, that was perfect too. Charley was too tired! _____________________________________ My Mother My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week" My mother taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why." My Mother taught me LOGIC...#2 - "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!" My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished. My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room." My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!! My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!" My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION - "Just wait until we get home." My Mother taught me about RECEIVING - "You are going to get it when we get home!" My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE - "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD - "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job." My Mother taught me ESP - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?" My Mother taught me HUMOR - "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT - "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." My Mother taught me about GENETICS - "You're just like your father." My Mother taught me about my ROOTS - "Do you think you were born in a barn?" My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE - "When you get to be my age, you will understand." And my all time favorite... JUSTICE - "One day you'll have kids ...and I hope they turn out just like you!" "When I came back from Korea, I had no money, no skills. Sure, I was good with a bayonet, but you can't put that on a resume - it puts people off!" Frank Barone, "Everybody Loves Raymond" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?forumid=5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?method=subscribe&forumid=5 Your ad could be here. Monies from ads go to support these lists and provide more resources for the community. http://www.fusionauthority.com/ads.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
