David Gray and Dave Matthews.
"one drink to remember and another to forget..."
one of Fiona's favorite songs is "Nugget" from Cake's Fashion Nugget,
with that catchy chorus:
"Shut the fuck up/
Learn to buck up/"
But she knows when it's okay to sing it and when not.
Jim Campbell wrote:
> So is 2. I've had "The Producers" soundtrack in the car for a couple of
> days, and my girls listen to it while we're out running errands.
> Yesterday, my 2 1/2-year old was "browsing" the cereal aisle singing
> "Keep it gay! Keep it gay! Keep it gay!". Hmm, I think we'll go back
> to Ralph's World for now, but that was funny as hell.
>
> - Jim
>
> William H Bowen wrote:
>
> >Santa likes Bourbon out our place.
> >
> >Last Christmas at dinner with friends/coworkers my daughter chimed in
> >with, "Santa likes Daddy's brand!" 5 is such a cute age.
> >
> >:)
> >
> >will
> >
> >Jim Campbell wrote:
> >
> >
> >
> >>Heh, good memories - I first read this - wow - maybe 6 or 7 years ago on
> >>our trusty 7100/80 AV PowerMac that we'd spoofed an IP for so we could
> >>connect to the school's network. Anyway, a friend of mine dug it up on
> >>a newsgroup and we were in tears after reading it. Just the mental
> >>image of a bunch of reindeer bursting into flames, I guess.
> >>
> >>Anyway, they don't take into account Santa having to take along
> >>approximately 8 tons of Maalox after eating an (estimated) 180 million+
> >>cookies and drinking at least half that many glasses of milk, although,
> >>oddly, Mom always put out cognac for Santa at our place...
> >>
> >>- Jim
> >>
> >>C. Hatton Humphrey wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>>Reminds me of a funny I read about when a team of Engineers sat down to
> >>>figure out if Santa Clause truly existed... Here's the results:
> >>>
> >>>Hatton
> >>>
> >>>The Engineer Reflects - Is There a Santa Clause?
> >>>
> >>>No known species of reindeer can fly, BUT there are 300,000 species of
> >>>living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
> >>>
> >>>
> >>insects
> >>
> >>
> >>>and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only
> >>>Santa has ever seen.
> >>>
> >>>There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world, BUT since
> >>>Santa doesn't appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist
> >>>children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total, or 378 million
> >>>according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate
> >>>
> >>>
> >>of 3.5
> >>
> >>
> >>>children per household, that is 91.8 million homes. One presumes
> >>>
> >>>
> >>there's at
> >>
> >>
> >>>least one good child in each.
> >>>
> >>>Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
> >>>
> >>>
> >>time
> >>
> >>
> >>>zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west
> >>>
> >>>
> >>(which
> >>
> >>
> >>>seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is
> to say
> >>>that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has
> >>>
> >>>
> >>1/1000th of
> >>
> >>
> >>>a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney,
> fill the
> >>>stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat
> whatever
> >>>snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the
> >>>
> >>>
> >>sleigh and
> >>
> >>
> >>>move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million
> stops
> >>>are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know
> to be
> >>>false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we
> >>>
> >>>
> >>are now
> >>
> >>
> >>>talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75� million
> miles,
> >>>not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31
> >>>hours, plus feeding, etc.
> >>>
> >>>This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000
> >>>times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest
> manmade
> >>>vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4
> miles per
> >>>second -- a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
> >>>
> >>>The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element.
> Assuming that
> >>>each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2
> pounds), the
> >>>sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably
> >>>described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no
> more
> >>>than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1)
> >>>
> >>>
> >>could
> >>
> >>
> >>>pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or
> >>>
> >>>
> >>even
> >>
> >>
> >>>nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload -- not even
> >>>counting the weight of the sleigh -- to 353,420 tons. Again, for
> >>>
> >>>
> >>comparison:
> >>
> >>
> >>>this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
> >>>
> >>>353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
> >>>resistance -- this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
> >>>spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
> reindeer
> >>>will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second, each. In
> short,
> >>>they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the
> reindeer
> >>>behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire
> >>>reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>Santa,
> >>
> >>
> >>>meanwhile, will be subjected to G-forces of 17,500.06 times greater
> than
> >>>gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be
> >>>
> >>>
> >>pinned to
> >>
> >>
> >>>the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
> >>>
> >>>In conclusion -
> >>>
> >>>If Santa ever DID deliver presents of Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
> >>>
> >>> -----Original Message-----
> >>> From: Jim Campbell [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> >>>
> >>> We had equations and charts spanning maybe 40 sheets of
> >>> paper (both sides), but realized it would be folly. The electricity
> >>> required to move the train that fast would brown out almost the entire
> >>> US west of the Continental Divide, not to mention the almost certain
> >>> liquifecation of the passengers, which would really put the kibosh on
> >>> vacation plans.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >
>
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