>work to it via Enterprise Manager at work inside the network...
To me this is your smoking gun that says it's not available outside your firewall. If you can't see it from home but can from work, I bet it's firewalled off, meaning it's not really a Mac issue so much as it is a general inability to connect to that database server over the internet. Unless I'm missing something, unfortunately I think you may be out of luck.
Matt
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