So so True!!!!! I quite simply adore it!!!
--- In [email protected], diana roller <rollerenergy@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> Â
>
> Subject: Pet notice-must read
> Â
> >
> >
> >
> >The following was found posted very lowon a refrigerator door.
> >Â Â
> >Dear Dogs and Cats:Â The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are
> >yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my
> >food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is
> >suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
> >slightest.
> >Â
> >The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me
> >to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
> >because I fall faster than you can run.
> >Â
> >I cannot buy anything
> bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not
> think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs
> and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not
> necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the
> fullest
> extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having
> tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking
> up,
> is nothing but sarcasm.
> >Â
> >For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some
> >miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
> >necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
> >the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door
> >I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline
> >attendance is not required.
> >Â
> >The proper
> order for kissing is:Â Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or
> cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
> >Â
> >Finally, in
> fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front
> door:Â
> >Â
> >TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND COMPLAIN
> >(1)Â They live here....you
> don't.Â
> >Â
> >Â (2)Â If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
> >furniture.Â
> >Â
> >Â Â That's why they call it âfur"-niture.Â
> >Â
> >Â (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.Â
> >Â
> > (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters
> >who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
> >Â Â
> >Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:Â
> >Â
> >
> >Â Â (1) eat less,Â
> >Â
> >Â Â (2) don't ask for money all the time,Â
> >Â
> >Â Â (3) are easier to train,Â
> >Â
> >Â Â (4) normally come when called,
> >Â
> >Â Â (5) never ask to drive the car,Â
> >Â
> >Â Â (6) don't hang out with drug-using people;Â
> >Â
> >Â Â (7) don't smoke or drink,
> >Â
> >Â Â (8) don't want to wear your clothes,Â
> >Â
> >Â Â (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,Â
> >Â
> >Â Â (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
> >
> >
> >Â Â (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their
> children.....
>
>
>
> ________________________________
>
>
>
> No virus found in this incoming message.
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> Version: 8.5.449 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3938 - Release Date:
> 10/04/11 18:34:00
>
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