Rosanne -- this one is great (been there, done that!) ROFL Ann ----- Original Message ----- From: Rosanne Cleveland-King <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Wednesday, December 19, 2001 4:40 PM Subject: [CKCS-L] Dog Humor
> > > This is making the rounds. I thought I'd share the laugh in case you > haven't seen it yet. Since I have participated in obedience, showing, and field trialing, it really rang my chimes!! > Rosanne > > > > Obedience Barbie: > > Barbie comes with a training bag full of gear, a set of utility articles, > > a full set of regulation obedience jumps, her own lawn chair, cooler, a > > subscription to Front and Finish, and her very own obedience Golden > > Retriever "OTCh Sparklepond's Shorestepper's Heelalong Fool" better > > known as "Two-hundred". Accessories such as HIT ribbons and high > > scoring club plaques can be purchased separately. > > > > Agility Barbie: > > Unlike most slim, attractive versions of Barbie, this Barbie is quite > > muscular from hauling very heavy A-Frames, teeter-totters, tunnels, and > > dog walks. She can carry an A-frame panel with one arm and set up all > > of the contact obstacles single-handedly. Barbie comes complete with a > full > > set of agility equipment, lawn chair, cooler, stopwatch, battery operated > > fans, an open-sided tent for shade, sunscreen, bug-spray, rain suit, > > waterproof boots, 57 different agility rule books for all occasions, and > her > > very own courier (Ken) who can hand deliver agility entries to the most > > popular trials and stand in line for Barbie. Ken also helps set up the > > equipment. > > Barbie also comes with her own agility dog, Border Collie "ADCH, MACH, > > S-NATCH Runaround's Speed Demon etc, etc, etc, ", or "Contact". Trailer > > for hauling agility equipment sold separately. > > > > Tracking Judge Barbie: > > Barbie comes with a polartec snowsuit, Gore-Tex raingear and boots, wool > > socks, leather tracking gloves, silk long underwear, sunscreen, bug > > spray, a baseball cap, a waterproof clipboard, mylar paper and space pens > > in three colors. She also comes with whistles in two different colors to > > match the snowsuit and rain gear, a complete set of tracking flags, a > > compass, and a set of 12 different tracking articles. Unlike most > Barbies, > > this Barbie always has a "bad hair day" so it's best to leave a hood or > the > > baseball cap over her hair at all times. Included in the deluxe version > is > > Barbie's tracking dog "Pokealong's Can't Find Squat TD", or "Sniffer", a > > Siberian Husky who comes with his own harness and rope as well as a > lifetime > > supply of hot dogs. Sniffer has been known to eat start articles with one > > gulp and turn the start flag into a large toy at TDX tests, grabbing it > in > > his mouth and running in large circles around the field (especially when > > there is a large audience watching). This version also comes with a case > of > > Valium for Tracking Judge Barbie for this very reason. > > > > Earthdog Barbie: > > Barbie comes with her very own monogrammed shovel, a custom-built liner > > for training, and a cage with three live rats. Also included are several > > pair of jeans, flannel shirts, T-shirts, rain gear, sunscreen, bug > > spray, and waterproof boots. Barbie comes with several small terriers (you > > choose the breed) and two first aid kits (one for the dogs when they get > in > > fights, and one for Barbie when she gets her hand in the way) as well as > a > > .38 > > revolver for emergencies (don't ask). This version of Barbie can be > > removed from the box but some collectors prefer to leave the terriers in > > the > > original box. > > > > Herding Barbie: > > This very popular Barbie comes with her very own authentic drover coat, > > Stetson cowboy hat, several pair of cowboy boots, waterproof boots for > > very inclement weather, silk long johns, wool socks, and a monogrammed > > staff. > > Much like Tracking Judge Barbie, this version of Barbie has perpetual "bad > > hair", so be prepared to leave the cowboy hat on at all times. Also > included > > is her very own monogrammed stretcher so that she can be carried out of > the > > arena when the sheep run over her. Barbie comes with her own Sheltie, > > "Round 'em Up's Chaser HI", or "Yapper". "Yapper" comes with her own > > gold-plated chain so that she can be hooked up to the barbed wire fence > > with all the > > Cattle Dogs and Border Collies (barbed wire fence not included). Barbie > > also comes with several sheep, cows, and ducks, making her one of the more > > expensive Barbies. > > > > Field Trial Barbie > > This Barbie is by far the most expensive. This Barbie will come equipped > > with two complete changes of flannel lined jeans, Polar Fleece vests, muck > > boots, hiking boots, Carhart bibs and coats, rip-stop chaps, oiled > dusters, > > Outback hats, blaze orange vests and hats, leather work gloves, 6 > different > > training whistles with distinct sounds, starter pistols, shotguns, bird > > bags, and a stock of quail and homing pigeons. She also has 4 complete > > changes of long underwear and wool socks and a baseball cap to hide her > > perpetually bad hair. She will also come equipped with a .44 magnum for > > emergencies. Field Trial Barbie will also come with several dogs at > > various training levels so that she might always have something to enter. > > Each dog will have a ground stake, food and water dishes, electronic > > training collar, > > and reversible orange and yellow reflective collar. Options available > for > > Field Trial Barbie are the pair of Tennessee Walking Horses tacked out > > in Trooper Saddles, Calvary headstalls, 20' tie out stakes made out of > > truck axles, 30' roading line, and old orange juice bottles to carry dog > > water. Other options will include the three horse slant load trailer with > > tack > > room, a quad cab dual axle pick up truck, and an oversized motor home. > > Other options available for an extra charge will be the deluxe custom > > Built crates for the dogs and the understanding husband. Also available > are > > the pigeon coop and recall pen. Options you will be purchasing weekly > will > > be quail, shotgun shells, 50# bags of horse grain, hay, and 40# bags > > of dog food. Field Trial Barbie is extremely independent, and travels > > extensively all year chasing Field Trials and good hunting grounds. > > > > And last, but not least, the most popular one of all is the > > > > Dog Club President Barbie: > > Comes with TWO cases of Miss Clairol hair color (to color her own gray > > hair), a monogrammed strait jacket, a leather-bound copy of "Robert's > Rules > > of Order", and a gold-plated gavel. The gavel unscrews at the end and is > > secretly a .357 magnum which can be used to keep unruly club member under > > control or just get rid of them all together! > > > > Four wheel drive Sport Utility Vehicles and Mini Vans complete with dog > > crates are sold separately for all versions of Barbie. > > > > "Magic Commands": > to stop receiving mail for awhile, click here and send the email: > mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?bodyto start it up gain click here: > mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?body > E-mail [EMAIL PROTECTED] for assistance. > Search the Archives... http://apple.ease.lsoft.com/archives/ckcs-l.html > > All e-mail sent through CKCS-L is Copyright 1999 by its original author. > > ========================================================= "Magic Commands": to stop receiving mail for awhile, click here and send the email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?body=SET%20CKCS-L%20NOMAIL to start it up gain click here: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?body=SET%20CKCS-L%20MAIL E-mail [EMAIL PROTECTED] for assistance. Search the Archives... http://apple.ease.lsoft.com/archives/ckcs-l.html All e-mail sent through CKCS-L is Copyright 1999 by its original author.
