--- In [email protected], "Lisa Martinez" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> Dear Lisa, very well said, I hope you don't mind butI passed this 
letter on to my sisters, so they can understand what I have been 
feeling but it seems hard to put to words. Thanks again.
Sandy
dx 9/2003

Hi Michael, 
> 
> I am not really sure that anyone was confused by what you meant 
when you
> mentioned your emotional state. Because each of us have had to go 
through
> many phases of adjustments in our life. 
> 
> The first one being the initial diagnosis. You seem to have passed 
that
> initial stage and it really sounds like the combination of Gleevec 
you're
> your strong WILL, will keep you healthy for a very long time.
> 
> Identity crisis sounds very familiar. Most of us have had to make 
major
> adjustment in one form or another due to our diagnosis. Some have 
had to
> retire and some have continued to work, but it's definitely not 
only our
> career's that have had to be adjusted. Almost every area of our 
lives
> including being a parent, husband, wife, civilian, etc... etc... 
Has had to
> be adjusted to live our new lives.
> 
> Funny thing I have noticed over the past 5 years is that the 
majority of us
> that participate in this group due to diagnosis have very strong
> personalities and have been very much in control of our lives and 
wham....
> this leukemia comes along and we have to adjust to changes that we 
don't
> want to adjust to but have to.
> 
> Not so easy for such in control people like ourselves. 
> 
> I remember that first year after diagnosis... Being the leader of 
my family,
> being a leader in my career- So used to being in control. 
> 
> As a matter fact my first reaction to the doctor when he gave me my
> diagnosis was "Ok. What can I do to get rid of this" not fully 
alert but
> doing what I was used to. Trying to take control.
> 
> During my firs year of treatment I was on interferon & arc- 2 daily
> injectables that had horrendous side affects. 
> 
> Not only could I not get to work but I would sit on my floor and 
cry in the
> middle of my family room because I did not have the strength to 
mop my white
> tiles that could be no less than spotless in my mind. 
> 
> It was very difficult to accept that I could not handle such an 
easy task. 
> 
> I was forced to change my identity and I didn't like it. 
> 
> After crying with frustration for a bit I went out and took a swim 
in my
> pool and floated for a while to try to get my emotions under 
control. With
> that I realized I felt a bit of energy and would go in and mop 
sections of
> my floor while getting in and out of the pool for that energy 
boost I needed
> to get the job done. I had to do this almost every day.  
> 
> My employers set up everything at home for me to work from home. I 
didn't
> like the isolotion I felt so by about 11:am I was able to get my 
self fully
> dressed and head to the office. My concentration was very poor - 
but my
> stubbornness would not allow defeat so I pushed and pushed myself.
> 
> Sometimes too much. I was becoming humble slowly but still had a 
hard time
> with completely giving in to the idea that I had to make these 
adjustments.
> After a year I was finally put on Gleevec and the side affects 
were much
> more tolerable. Still I struggled with my disabilities -
> 
> Then... in 2002 I was really humbled. I lost my 18 year old Son.
> 
> I had no control over the situation and no matter what I did I 
could not
> bring him back. It was during that time of grief that I learned to 
just do
> the best that I can no matter how much that was I could only do 
what I
> could. 
> 
> During the last few years I have finally come to grips with the 
fact that I
> am not superwoman and I am going through all of this for a reason. 
> 
> Most importantly what I have learned is that life is short and I 
must accept
> that it is in my control to try my best to make lemon aid out of 
my lemons.
> I have learned to search further inside my self for my 
spirituality and my
> true self. 
> 
> I tell you all this to let you know that even if your 
circumstances are not
> exactly the same, I understand what your felling regarding the 
identity
> crisis. 
> 
> You may want to start thinking of a passion or hobby you have and 
find a
> ways to eventually incorporate it in to a part time career or a 
full time
> career. But one that will never let you lose sight of what's most 
important
> in your life...the love you have and share with your family. 
> 
> I have to tell you that it continues to be an everyday struggle 
for me not
> giving into that power I once felt I needed to stay in control.
> 
> With that being said, know that your journey will continue to 
bring you to
> and through more challenges and changes. But you will be ok.
> 
> I hope my story has helped in some way... and remember. 
> 
>  
> 
> Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the 
number of
> moments that take our breath away...
> 
>  
> 
> Lisa M
> 
> Tampa Fl   
> 
> Dx 5-2000 
> 
> Hydrea /interferon/ arc
> 
> Gleevec 400 mgs 6-2001 -
> 
> 8-2001 PCRU  
> 
>           
> 
>              
> 
>                       
> 
>                   
> 
>     
> 
> Message: 6         
> 
>    Date: Sat, 21 May 2005 15:31:22 -0000
> 
>    From: "mherr252742003" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> 
> Subject: Michael's problem
> 
>  
> 
> Hello to All,
> 
> I'm sorry I gave the wrong impression with my post yesterday.  I 
am not 
> 
> down and blue over the DX or the progres of my leukemia.  I am 
living a 
> 
> wonderful life and I am accomplishing many great and wonderful 
things.  
> 
> The problem is simple and quit sorry in the big scheme of things 
> 
> actually.  Last week I watched my soldiers leave for Iraq.  I 
loved 
> 
> being a soldier and have done it for 15 years before they retired 
me.  
> 
> It's just hard adjusting is all.  My wife tells me that not only 
am I 
> 
> having a mid life crisis, I am also having an identity crisis.  i 
just 
> 
> need to learn to be a Dad, farmer, husband, student and civilian 
> 
> instead of a soldier.
> 
> Thanks for the concern.
> 
> Smile,
> 
> Michael




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