Claire: Thank you for sharing the reaction to grief that you experienced on the dance floor. Many callers and dancers gave tributes to my late wife, the caller Linda Leslie, in the weeks and months following her sudden death. Sometimes I was able to fully participate, but at other times I had to limit my participation (as you did in regard to Kim Yerton), or be absent. Grief for the individual can wax or wane over time, and recovery of one’s equilibrium is not a steady-state development. However, as we remain a part of the dance community, I think that the dance community as a whole is better able to help buffer our individual responses to grief over time. So I think that a brief statement on mic about someone’s passing, followed immediately by a dance that celebrates the person’s life, is appropriate. All we can do is speak as sensitively as possible, recognizing that the announcement will be more challenging for some dancers than for others. We should direct attention away from ourselves at the mic and toward the deceased’s life and the community’s simultaneous experience of loss and celebration, and promptly start the celebratory dance. As I said at Linda’s memorial dance, everything ends and it’s always sad - but everything begins again, begins anew, and that gives us the opportunity for joy. What I meant was that although the individual life ended, the life of the dance community continues. Best wishes … Bob
> On May 8, 2024, at 1:19 PM, Claire Takemori via Contra Callers > <[email protected]> wrote: > > Hello dear callers. > > I have a question about when a caller brings up a recent passing during a > public dance. > > When Kim Yerton passed, I heard about it the day before and grieved. The > next day the caller dedicated a dance to her and I almost had to leave the > dance. Left the line to get away from listening to the words about Kim. I > realize this is my own reaction and sensitivity. > > Wondering what y’all say on mic about a recent passing and dedication, as it > could be a surprise to some dancers? > > At a recent ECD weekend, the caller dedicated a dance to Christine Robb and > said to dance it with appreciation and joy as that is what she would’ve > wanted instead of grief and sorrow. > > Thanks for sharing your thoughts. > > Claire Takemori (Asheville NC) > >> On May 8, 2024, at 1:00 AM, [email protected] >> wrote: >> >> Send Contra Callers mailing list submissions to >> [email protected] >> >> To subscribe or unsubscribe via email, send a message with subject or >> body 'help' to >> [email protected] >> >> You can reach the person managing the list at >> [email protected] >> >> When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific >> than "Re: Contents of Contra Callers digest..." >> >> Today's Topics: >> >> 1. Tony Parkes 1949-2024 (Greenleaf) >> 2. Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 (Mary Collins) >> 3. Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 (Angela DeCarlis) >> 4. Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 (Lisa Greenleaf) >> 5. Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 (Andrew Stout) >> 6. Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 (Luke Donforth) >> >> >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> >> Message: 1 >> Date: Tue, 7 May 2024 13:26:02 -0400 >> From: Greenleaf <[email protected]> >> Subject: [Callers] Tony Parkes 1949-2024 >> To: Trad Callers <[email protected]>, >> [email protected] >> Message-ID: <[email protected]> >> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8 >> >> Caller Tony Parkes passed away yesterday with his wife, Beth, at his side. >> He will be missed. >> >> At the lovely Tony Parkes tribute at this year’s Neffa Festival, Beth spoke >> of how Tony was touched and surprised that so many people were telling him >> about his impact on their lives. Well, yes, Tony! He was a true treasure. >> >> Lisa Greenleaf >> >> ------------------------------ >> >> Message: 2 >> Date: Tue, 7 May 2024 14:00:35 -0400 >> From: Mary Collins <[email protected]> >> Subject: [Callers] Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 >> To: Greenleaf <[email protected]> >> Cc: Trad Callers <[email protected]>, >> [email protected] >> Message-ID: >> <CAB0qS-zEJJOfuc8-D=A4ucoBCkMH1RVHu5uBaUWoCqRoRH=k...@mail.gmail.com> >> Content-Type: multipart/alternative; >> boundary="000000000000f5d6830617e0f7e5" >> >> Lisa, >> >> Thanks for sharing this. I am calling Friday and will certainly add a Tony >> aspect to the evening. His insights, support & dance writing will be >> sorely missed. >> >> Mary Collins >> >> "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who >> couldn't hear the music." - Nietzsche >> >> “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... it's about learning >> to dance in the rain!” ~ unknown >> >> >> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 1:27 PM Greenleaf via Contra Callers < >> [email protected]> wrote: >> >>> Caller Tony Parkes passed away yesterday with his wife, Beth, at his side. >>> He will be missed. >>> >>> At the lovely Tony Parkes tribute at this year’s Neffa Festival, Beth >>> spoke of how Tony was touched and surprised that so many people were >>> telling him about his impact on their lives. Well, yes, Tony! He was a true >>> treasure. >>> >>> Lisa Greenleaf >>> _______________________________________________ >>> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >>> To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected] >>> >> -------------- next part -------------- >> A message part incompatible with plain text digests has been removed ... >> Name: not available >> Type: text/html >> Size: 2446 bytes >> Desc: not available >> >> ------------------------------ >> >> Message: 3 >> Date: Tue, 7 May 2024 18:05:57 -0400 >> From: Angela DeCarlis <[email protected]> >> Subject: [Callers] Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 >> To: Mary Collins <[email protected]> >> Cc: Trad Callers <[email protected]>, >> [email protected] >> Message-ID: >> <CA+h6_Bb-uk_54uNO=aRmk14WkZhZbT=s+ytgpkvo07xwec+...@mail.gmail.com> >> Content-Type: multipart/alternative; >> boundary="000000000000a904130617e464b3" >> >> Thank you Lisa for sharing. Sending love out to those who knew Tony better >> than I did — the few interactions I had with him were entirely lovely. >> >> Like Mary, I'm also calling a dance on Friday. I'd love to call one of >> Tony's dances — what are y'all's favorites? >> >> Best, >> Angela >> >> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 2:01 PM Mary Collins via Contra Callers < >> [email protected]> wrote: >> >>> Lisa, >>> >>> Thanks for sharing this. I am calling Friday and will certainly add a >>> Tony aspect to the evening. His insights, support & dance writing will be >>> sorely missed. >>> >>> Mary Collins >>> >>> "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who >>> couldn't hear the music." - Nietzsche >>> >>> “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... it's about learning >>> to dance in the rain!” ~ unknown >>> >>> >>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 1:27 PM Greenleaf via Contra Callers < >>> [email protected]> wrote: >>> >>>> Caller Tony Parkes passed away yesterday with his wife, Beth, at his >>>> side. He will be missed. >>>> >>>> At the lovely Tony Parkes tribute at this year’s Neffa Festival, Beth >>>> spoke of how Tony was touched and surprised that so many people were >>>> telling him about his impact on their lives. Well, yes, Tony! He was a true >>>> treasure. >>>> >>>> Lisa Greenleaf >>>> _______________________________________________ >>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >>>> To unsubscribe send an email to >>>> [email protected] >>>> >>> _______________________________________________ >>> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >>> To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected] >>> >> -------------- next part -------------- >> A message part incompatible with plain text digests has been removed ... >> Name: not available >> Type: text/html >> Size: 3642 bytes >> Desc: not available >> >> ------------------------------ >> >> Message: 4 >> Date: Tue, 7 May 2024 18:18:12 -0400 >> From: Lisa Greenleaf <[email protected]> >> Subject: [Callers] Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 >> To: Angela DeCarlis <[email protected]> >> Cc: Trad Callers <[email protected]>, >> [email protected] >> Message-ID: >> <cab5krqkozo0gy6uv_lo2jrkztturmdn5xma_bmahbcyevyk...@mail.gmail.com> >> Content-Type: multipart/alternative; >> boundary="000000000000734e1a0617e49067" >> >> Tony was diagnosed with a stage 4 glio blastoma late last fall. He did an >> initial round of chemo and radiation before entering hospice in early >> spring. >> >> He was never in pain, and indeed, he and Beth were able to let his >> community know what was going on, so he received lots of love and support. >> He had many visitors and messages these last few weeks. >> >> Tony was the first to incorporate a square through into a contra dance. >> Friday Night Fever initially had just one balance, followed by four pull >> bys, but it is now widely danced with the two partner balances. >> >> Check out Callers Box database for more ideas. >> >> Lisa >> >> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 6:06 PM Angela DeCarlis <[email protected]> wrote: >> >>> Thank you Lisa for sharing. Sending love out to those who knew Tony better >>> than I did — the few interactions I had with him were entirely lovely. >>> >>> Like Mary, I'm also calling a dance on Friday. I'd love to call one of >>> Tony's dances — what are y'all's favorites? >>> >>> Best, >>> Angela >>> >>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 2:01 PM Mary Collins via Contra Callers < >>> [email protected]> wrote: >>> >>>> Lisa, >>>> >>>> Thanks for sharing this. I am calling Friday and will certainly add a >>>> Tony aspect to the evening. His insights, support & dance writing will be >>>> sorely missed. >>>> >>>> Mary Collins >>>> >>>> "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who >>>> couldn't hear the music." - Nietzsche >>>> >>>> “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... it's about learning >>>> to dance in the rain!” ~ unknown >>>> >>>> >>>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 1:27 PM Greenleaf via Contra Callers < >>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>> >>>>> Caller Tony Parkes passed away yesterday with his wife, Beth, at his >>>>> side. He will be missed. >>>>> >>>>> At the lovely Tony Parkes tribute at this year’s Neffa Festival, Beth >>>>> spoke of how Tony was touched and surprised that so many people were >>>>> telling him about his impact on their lives. Well, yes, Tony! He was a >>>>> true >>>>> treasure. >>>>> >>>>> Lisa Greenleaf >>>>> _______________________________________________ >>>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >>>>> To unsubscribe send an email to >>>>> [email protected] >>>>> >>>> _______________________________________________ >>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >>>> To unsubscribe send an email to >>>> [email protected] >>>> >>> >> -------------- next part -------------- >> A message part incompatible with plain text digests has been removed ... >> Name: not available >> Type: text/html >> Size: 4822 bytes >> Desc: not available >> >> ------------------------------ >> >> Message: 5 >> Date: Tue, 7 May 2024 20:08:07 -0400 >> From: Andrew Stout <[email protected]> >> Subject: [Callers] Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 >> To: Lisa Greenleaf <[email protected]> >> Cc: Trad Callers <[email protected]>, >> [email protected] >> Message-ID: >> <CAFSt3VQL+ckB1RgN+qKe6uWU5pcQVHW6sYWQHJS1YeQMnK=n...@mail.gmail.com> >> Content-Type: multipart/alternative; >> boundary="00000000000080bccd0617e619aa" >> >> I wasn't able to be at NEFFA for the tribute, but I called a week and a >> half ago and said a few words about Tony. I called May Day Mixer, Monday >> Night Fever, and Shadrack's Delight. >> >> --Andrew >> >> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 6:18 PM Lisa Greenleaf via Contra Callers < >> [email protected]> wrote: >> >>> Tony was diagnosed with a stage 4 glio blastoma late last fall. He did an >>> initial round of chemo and radiation before entering hospice in early >>> spring. >>> >>> He was never in pain, and indeed, he and Beth were able to let his >>> community know what was going on, so he received lots of love and support. >>> He had many visitors and messages these last few weeks. >>> >>> Tony was the first to incorporate a square through into a contra dance. >>> Friday Night Fever initially had just one balance, followed by four pull >>> bys, but it is now widely danced with the two partner balances. >>> >>> Check out Callers Box database for more ideas. >>> >>> Lisa >>> >>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 6:06 PM Angela DeCarlis <[email protected]> >>> wrote: >>> >>>> Thank you Lisa for sharing. Sending love out to those who knew Tony >>>> better than I did — the few interactions I had with him were entirely >>>> lovely. >>>> >>>> Like Mary, I'm also calling a dance on Friday. I'd love to call one of >>>> Tony's dances — what are y'all's favorites? >>>> >>>> Best, >>>> Angela >>>> >>>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 2:01 PM Mary Collins via Contra Callers < >>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>> >>>>> Lisa, >>>>> >>>>> Thanks for sharing this. I am calling Friday and will certainly add a >>>>> Tony aspect to the evening. His insights, support & dance writing will be >>>>> sorely missed. >>>>> >>>>> Mary Collins >>>>> >>>>> "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who >>>>> couldn't hear the music." - Nietzsche >>>>> >>>>> “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... it's about >>>>> learning to dance in the rain!” ~ unknown >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 1:27 PM Greenleaf via Contra Callers < >>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> Caller Tony Parkes passed away yesterday with his wife, Beth, at his >>>>>> side. He will be missed. >>>>>> >>>>>> At the lovely Tony Parkes tribute at this year’s Neffa Festival, Beth >>>>>> spoke of how Tony was touched and surprised that so many people were >>>>>> telling him about his impact on their lives. Well, yes, Tony! He was a >>>>>> true >>>>>> treasure. >>>>>> >>>>>> Lisa Greenleaf >>>>>> _______________________________________________ >>>>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >>>>>> To unsubscribe send an email to >>>>>> [email protected] >>>>>> >>>>> _______________________________________________ >>>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >>>>> To unsubscribe send an email to >>>>> [email protected] >>>>> >>>> _______________________________________________ >>> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >>> To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected] >>> >> -------------- next part -------------- >> A message part incompatible with plain text digests has been removed ... >> Name: not available >> Type: text/html >> Size: 5848 bytes >> Desc: not available >> >> ------------------------------ >> >> Message: 6 >> Date: Tue, 7 May 2024 23:51:21 -0400 >> From: Luke Donforth <[email protected]> >> Subject: [Callers] Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 >> To: Andrew Stout <[email protected]> >> Cc: Trad Callers <[email protected]>, >> [email protected] >> Message-ID: >> <cafrkozbbzatsxswcfw2o6b859lrofd4jzh5wvytscmdtmxb...@mail.gmail.com> >> Content-Type: multipart/alternative; >> boundary="000000000000e354730617e937a2" >> >> Will definitely be missed. Thanks for letting us know. Condolences to his >> family and the community. >> >> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 8:08 PM Andrew Stout via Contra Callers < >> [email protected]> wrote: >> >>> I wasn't able to be at NEFFA for the tribute, but I called a week and a >>> half ago and said a few words about Tony. I called May Day Mixer, Monday >>> Night Fever, and Shadrack's Delight. >>> >>> --Andrew >>> >>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 6:18 PM Lisa Greenleaf via Contra Callers < >>> [email protected]> wrote: >>> >>>> Tony was diagnosed with a stage 4 glio blastoma late last fall. He did an >>>> initial round of chemo and radiation before entering hospice in early >>>> spring. >>>> >>>> He was never in pain, and indeed, he and Beth were able to let his >>>> community know what was going on, so he received lots of love and support. >>>> He had many visitors and messages these last few weeks. >>>> >>>> Tony was the first to incorporate a square through into a contra dance. >>>> Friday Night Fever initially had just one balance, followed by four pull >>>> bys, but it is now widely danced with the two partner balances. >>>> >>>> Check out Callers Box database for more ideas. >>>> >>>> Lisa >>>> >>>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 6:06 PM Angela DeCarlis <[email protected]> >>>> wrote: >>>> >>>>> Thank you Lisa for sharing. Sending love out to those who knew Tony >>>>> better than I did — the few interactions I had with him were entirely >>>>> lovely. >>>>> >>>>> Like Mary, I'm also calling a dance on Friday. I'd love to call one of >>>>> Tony's dances — what are y'all's favorites? >>>>> >>>>> Best, >>>>> Angela >>>>> >>>>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 2:01 PM Mary Collins via Contra Callers < >>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> Lisa, >>>>>> >>>>>> Thanks for sharing this. I am calling Friday and will certainly add a >>>>>> Tony aspect to the evening. His insights, support & dance writing will >>>>>> be >>>>>> sorely missed. >>>>>> >>>>>> Mary Collins >>>>>> >>>>>> "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who >>>>>> couldn't hear the music." - Nietzsche >>>>>> >>>>>> “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... it's about >>>>>> learning to dance in the rain!” ~ unknown >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 1:27 PM Greenleaf via Contra Callers < >>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>>> Caller Tony Parkes passed away yesterday with his wife, Beth, at his >>>>>>> side. He will be missed. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> At the lovely Tony Parkes tribute at this year’s Neffa Festival, Beth >>>>>>> spoke of how Tony was touched and surprised that so many people were >>>>>>> telling him about his impact on their lives. Well, yes, Tony! He was a >>>>>>> true >>>>>>> treasure. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Lisa Greenleaf >>>>>>> _______________________________________________ >>>>>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >>>>>>> To unsubscribe send an email to >>>>>>> [email protected] >>>>>>> >>>>>> _______________________________________________ >>>>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >>>>>> To unsubscribe send an email to >>>>>> [email protected] >>>>>> >>>>> _______________________________________________ >>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >>>> To unsubscribe send an email to >>>> [email protected] >>>> >>> _______________________________________________ >>> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >>> To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected] >>> >> >> >> -- >> Luke Donforth >> [email protected] <[email protected]> >> -------------- next part -------------- >> A message part incompatible with plain text digests has been removed ... >> Name: not available >> Type: text/html >> Size: 6982 bytes >> Desc: not available >> >> ------------------------------ >> >> Subject: Digest Footer >> >> _______________________________________________ >> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >> To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected] >> >> >> ------------------------------ >> >> End of Contra Callers Digest, Vol 118, Issue 3 >> ********************************************** > > _______________________________________________ > Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] > To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected] _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected]
