And, sorry, that should have been... --jh-- Joe Harrington Contra dance caller and DJ Organizer, Orlando Contra Dance orlandocontra.org FB: Orlando Contra Dance Community Ig: orlandocontradance [email protected]
On Wed, May 8, 2024 at 7:06 PM Joe Harrington <[email protected]> wrote: > I've given a lot of thought to obituary dances recently, as we've had so > many...Kim, Christine, now Tony...and, well, we're a graying community > (though Christine proved you don't have to be to leave this earth). Many > of us have danced a silent contra in memory at dance camps with a certain > caller. > > I think what you do really depends on both who is in the room and who died. > > For example, Kim Yerton was well known to me and I played a lot of Bear > music at Orlando dances. Our dance started just two years ago and used > recorded music for most of its first year, until we got some sponsors. > However, nearly everyone at the dance was new and learned to dance in our > community, post-pandemic. Only perhaps three people had ever met Kim, > including me. When I put on a Bear tune in her memory, the main effect was > that people came to me afterward and offered condolences for my lost > friend. Not the effect I had hoped to have. I wanted to honor Kim, not > get sympathy. > > But, a local dance angel died last year, Al Rogers. As part of his last > wishes, he encouraged people to contribute to local dances in lieu of > flowers, and many performers did one or more gigs for free. When someone > said they were calling for free in honor of Al, the dancers really > appreciated it, even though, again, most had never met him. So, that made > a much bigger impression. And, more importantly, it was a positive, happy > vibe, which is tough to achieve in a memorial situation. And, we knew it > was what Al wanted, because he told us. > > Another concern is, if a prominent local or national figure passes and > gets remembered, and then someone of perhaps lesser stature passes, you > have the possibility of offending some if they are not recognized, or even > if they are and the community response isn't as deep. > > Claire already mentioned the worry of people dropping out or breaking down. > > And finally, in most cases, people are at a dance for joy, an upbeat > time. If they are not feeling personally down about the death, perhaps > because they don't know the person, then being brought down or having > everyone around them brought down is not what they came for. > > I don't have a single recipe, but I lean toward minimal recognition at the > mic, only of people really important to the dancers present, real > elephant-in-the-room situations. Warn ahead, as was mentioned. Otherwise, > a sign and flowers or a photo on a table or someplace visible but not > obtrusive should work for most, and allows people to manage their own > emotional state in their own way and not on the dance floor. It can even > be pointed out from the mic (before the break, please, not before a dance). > It gives recognition and allows for personal grief without breaking the > happy vibe of the whole dance. > > --jh-- > > > On Wed, May 8, 2024 at 6:21 PM Patricia Campbell via Contra Callers < > [email protected]> wrote: > >> Would you please describe the dance Empty Shoes? >> >> Thanks! >> >> Patricia >> >> Patricia Campbell >> southern Maine >> >> >> *Celebrating Community Through Traditional Dance and Music* >> >> >> >> On Wed, May 8, 2024 at 5:23 PM Neal Schlein via Contra Callers < >> [email protected]> wrote: >> >>> One of the rather idiosyncratic dance groups that I belong to has a >>> specific dance that we do in memory of a recently deceased member, as well >>> as all the other dancers who came and left before. We also do it at camps >>> to remember anyone who can’t join us for whatever reason. The dance is >>> named Empty Shoes. >>> >>> At a more open dance, if it is recent and the person is locally known I >>> might post a note at the front table with a brief obituary and let the >>> volunteers know that a dance will be dedicated at some point in the night. >>> >>> From the microphone, I would make the announcement one dance ahead so >>> people have the chance to step out. Then keep it brief, basically to the >>> extent of, “Some of you may not have heard, but XYZ person passed away >>> recently. They were a valuable part of our/the national dance community >>> for many years and will be missed. The next dance is one that they >>> wrote/particularly enjoyed, and I want to share it with you in their >>> memory.” >>> >>> Neal Schlein >>> Librarian, MSLIS >>> >>> _______________________________________________ >>> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >>> To unsubscribe send an email to >>> [email protected] >>> >> _______________________________________________ >> Contra Callers mailing list -- [email protected] >> To unsubscribe send an email to >> [email protected] >> >
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