And, sorry, that should have been...

--jh--
Joe Harrington
Contra dance caller and DJ
Organizer, Orlando Contra Dance
orlandocontra.org
FB: Orlando Contra Dance Community
Ig: orlandocontradance
[email protected]


On Wed, May 8, 2024 at 7:06 PM Joe Harrington <[email protected]>
wrote:

> I've given a lot of thought to obituary dances recently, as we've had so
> many...Kim, Christine, now Tony...and, well, we're a graying community
> (though Christine proved you don't have to be to leave this earth).  Many
> of us have danced a silent contra in memory at dance camps with a certain
> caller.
>
> I think what you do really depends on both who is in the room and who died.
>
> For example, Kim Yerton was well known to me and I played a lot of Bear
> music at Orlando dances.  Our dance started just two years ago and used
> recorded music for most of its first year, until we got some sponsors.
> However, nearly everyone at the dance was new and learned to dance in our
> community, post-pandemic.  Only perhaps three people had ever met Kim,
> including me.  When I put on a Bear tune in her memory, the main effect was
> that people came to me afterward and offered condolences for my lost
> friend.  Not the effect I had hoped to have.  I wanted to honor Kim, not
> get sympathy.
>
> But, a local dance angel died last year, Al Rogers.  As part of his last
> wishes, he encouraged people to contribute to local dances in lieu of
> flowers, and many performers did one or more gigs for free.  When someone
> said they were calling for free in honor of Al, the dancers really
> appreciated it, even though, again, most had never met him.  So, that made
> a much bigger impression.  And, more importantly, it was a positive, happy
> vibe, which is tough to achieve in a memorial situation.  And, we knew it
> was what Al wanted, because he told us.
>
> Another concern is, if a prominent local or national figure passes and
> gets remembered, and then someone of perhaps lesser stature passes, you
> have the possibility of offending some if they are not recognized, or even
> if they are and the community response isn't as deep.
>
> Claire already mentioned the worry of people dropping out or breaking down.
>
> And finally, in most cases, people are at a dance for joy, an upbeat
> time.  If they are not feeling personally down about the death, perhaps
> because they don't know the person, then being brought down or having
> everyone around them brought down is not what they came for.
>
> I don't have a single recipe, but I lean toward minimal recognition at the
> mic, only of people really important to the dancers present, real
> elephant-in-the-room situations.  Warn ahead, as was mentioned.  Otherwise,
> a sign and flowers or a photo on a table or someplace visible but not
> obtrusive should work for most, and allows people to manage their own
> emotional state in their own way and not on the dance floor.  It can even
> be pointed out from the mic (before the break, please, not before a dance).
> It gives recognition and allows for personal grief without breaking the
> happy vibe of the whole dance.
>
> --jh--
>
>
> On Wed, May 8, 2024 at 6:21 PM Patricia Campbell via Contra Callers <
> [email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Would you please describe the dance Empty Shoes?
>>
>> Thanks!
>>
>> Patricia
>>
>> Patricia Campbell
>> southern Maine
>>
>>
>> *Celebrating Community Through Traditional Dance and Music*
>>
>>
>>
>> On Wed, May 8, 2024 at 5:23 PM Neal Schlein via Contra Callers <
>> [email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>> One of the rather idiosyncratic dance groups that I belong to has a
>>> specific dance that we do in memory of a recently deceased member, as well
>>> as all the other dancers who came and left before. We also do it at camps
>>> to remember anyone who can’t join us for whatever reason. The dance is
>>> named Empty Shoes.
>>>
>>> At a more open dance, if it is recent and the person is locally known I
>>> might post a note at the front table with a brief obituary and let the
>>> volunteers know that a dance will be dedicated at some point in the night.
>>>
>>> From the microphone, I would make the announcement one dance ahead so
>>> people have the chance to step out. Then keep it brief, basically to the
>>> extent of, “Some of you may not have heard, but XYZ person passed away
>>> recently.  They were a valuable part of our/the national dance community
>>> for many years and will be missed. The next dance is one that they
>>> wrote/particularly enjoyed, and I want to share it with you in their
>>> memory.”
>>>
>>> Neal Schlein
>>> Librarian, MSLIS
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>
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>
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