-Caveat Lector-
SkeptiNews 990720d - - - - - - - - - - - All The News That's Fit To Question
: Passages starting with ':' are editorial comments to provoke discussion.
: Nothing contained herein is ever endorsed for truth, accuracy or meaning.
: No silicon armadillos were left to rot during production of this bulletin.
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# Catholic monks selling caskets. ST. MEINRAD, Ind. (AP) Now, you too can be
laid to rest in an authentic replica of the plain, wooden coffins used for
more than a century to bury dozens of Benedictine monks at St. Meinrad
Archabbey. Abbey Caskets, a new marketing division of this Roman Catholic
monastery & theology school, opened for business last month offering one
product - caskets like those handmade by the monks for their brethren. The
casket, which is only slightly more ornate than the real thing, is made
from poplar and available in either a natural finish or a cherry stain.
The cost is US$1,750 plus shipping, with or without the optional cross
inlay. http://www.infobeat.com/stories/cgi/story.cgi?id=2560308726-077
: Are you more/less likely to go to Heaven/Purgatory/Hell in a priest-made
coffin? Where am I going and why am I in this handbasket? Could believers be
intimidated into buying 'holy' products? Have you ever eaten a "holy chili"?
Does it generate "holy shit"? Do you sell holy products? Is business good??
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# God Provides Gift To Women In Form Of Marketing Analyst Bradley Ennis.
ARLINGTON, TX - Women everywhere have been blessed from on high with the
existence of Bradley Ennis, it was reported Monday. "God, in His infinite
wisdom and love for all the women of the world, has sent me to Earth, that
I may rock the worlds of all the bee-you-tiful la-dies," the single, 27-
year-old sales consultant said. Though not confirmed, it is believed that
no woman has yet accepted the Divine gift of Ennis of Arlington. ###
: Are you a blessing/curse upon members of the same/opposite sex? Has some
deity blessed/cursed you with the existence of another? Do you pray a lot?
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# SPACE.COM LAUNCHES. Fans of alien abductions, extraterrestrials, and space
exploration get a new site for news on the anniversary of the first moon
walk. Coincidence or something more? I know - there are NO coincidences.
http://www.wired.com/news/news/email/tip/technology/story/20837.html
# MAN ON MOON OR PIE IN SKY? It's the 30th anniversary of Neil Armstrong's
first giant step. Or is it? There are a few hot folks on the fringe who
insist that the whole thing was a fake. But they could be lying too, eh?
http://www.wired.com/news/news/email/tip/culture/story/20820.html
: What's your favorite lie? Your favorite coincidence? Your favorite fringe?
Are you paranoid enough? Is anybody? Why am I asking all these questions??
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# AT AGE 45 BRAIN SAYS: HARD DISK FULL. Have you ever wondered if your brain
was filling up with info, and soon you wouldn't have room to remember any-
thing new? Well, that's not far off the mark - where's the PURGE button?
http://www.healthcentral.com/drdean/DeanFullTextTopics.cfm?ID=14354
: Have you flushed your brain lately? What d'ya use? Does it interfere with
your alien implant(s)? Does an empty head keep you prepared for everything?
# ARMOR FOR MAGNETIC DEVICES. Physicists find a new "supershield" that could
result in smaller and more accurate MRI systems. Claustrophobics, rejoice!
http://www.wired.com/news/news/email/tip/technology/story/20816.html
: Have you shielded your alien implant(s) lately? Do CAT-scans and/or MRI
sessions make your implants buzz painfully? Should you shield your memory?
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# New Type Of Dinosaur Found In Antarctic. BUENOS AIRES (Reuters) Fossils
from a newfound land-roving dinosaur adapted to a temperate climate have
been unearthed on an Antarctic island near the tip of South America in
what experts are calling a rare find. The dinosaur refused to comment.
http://news.excite.com/news/r/990720/16/science-argentina-dinosaur
# Mars researchers hear surveyor data. PASADENA, Calif. (AP) - The latest
images from NASA's Mars Global Surveyor portray a climatically diverse yet
lifeless planet, where a mountain soars 17 miles high and a canyon plunges
11 miles deep. More than 350 researchers met in Pasadena mull the findings
of Surveyor, which began mapping the planet in March and will do so for
687 days, a full Martian year. The Surveyor mission has yet to produce any
evidence that life could ever exist on Mars. Just lots of nice rocks so
far - see http://www.infobeat.com/stories/cgi/story.cgi?id=2560367160-ade
: When did Martian dinosaurs migrate to Antarctica? How much Antarctic life
is observable from a satellite? Can satellites detect the Nazi Antarctic UFO
bases? Do you trust the satellite controllers? What are they covering up???
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# Part of Great Wall razed for bridge. BEIJING (AP) One of the oldest sec-
tions of China's Great Wall has been destroyed to make way for a highway
bridge, officials in the northern city of Baotou said. Provincial author-
ities threatened severe punishment for those responsible for digging up a
7900-square-foot section of the wall, believed built around 100 BC, during
the Zhou dynasty. "This has really caught the attention of our leaders,"
said Zheng Shuqing of the Baotou Relics Bureau, which is responsible for
conservation of local antiquities. An investigation is underway to find
out who destroyed the wall. The same section of the wall, which runs
through long stretches of northern China, had been damaged during
earlier construction. This time, the entire section was dug up. ###
: What alien artifacts/technology were hidden in the destroyed wall? Who has
them now? What cultural landmarks would you like to destroy? In which stands
of endangered plants would you like to cut crop circles? And why stop there?
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SkeptiLinks:
# FDA issues guidelines on how to spot phony health claims:
http://www.healthcentral.com/drdean/DeanFullTextTopics.cfm?ID=14359
@ HOW CAN WE CONVINCE THEM THAT EAR CANDLING IS HOCUS-POCUS?
http://www.healthcentral.com/drdean/DeanFullTextTopics.cfm?ID=14351
@ IS COCA TEA A SECRET CURE FOR ALTITUDE SICKNESS? Well, yes:
http://www.healthcentral.com/drdean/DeanFullTextTopics.cfm?ID=14350
# Town votes to change city seal - remove the Christian fish symbol:
http://www.infobeat.com/stories/cgi/story.cgi?id=2560367070-b27
# Vatican official miffed at Israel - "it's all the Jews' fault":
http://www.infobeat.com/stories/cgi/story.cgi?id=2560365040-f65
# Online households watch less TV - better things to do:
http://www.infobeat.com/stories/cgi/story.cgi?id=2560360903-026
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Paul Revere had just discovered that someone in Boston was a spy for
the British, and when he saw the young woman believed to be the spy's
girlfriend in an Italian restaurant he said to the waiter, "Hold the
spumoni -- I'm going to follow the chick an' catch a Tory."
--John L. Ashman ** http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/lyttony.htm **
* [EMAIL PROTECTED] * http://www.sonic.net/~ric * Amnesia Macht Frei *
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