The Scoop - http://www.bobharris.com/ Hi all -- Two months since the last column... the morning radio show at www.RadioForChange.com is really starting to boot keister, but it takes a lot of time and effort. We're broadcasting live from the middle of every major political convention this summer, starting with the Green Party hoedown in Denver a few weeks ago. Working Assets has been incredible to work with. The night before Ralph Nader's big acceptance speech I was privileged to be his opening act before a happy group of 1200 in Boulder. This ruled, and afterward there was time for an exclusive interview backstage. I intend to get RealAudio of all this up on my website when there's time. (As if my claims about updating the website have any credibility at this point...) I'm in Philadelphia as I write this, on the eve of the GOP shindig. Tonight I'm emceeing an anti-NRA benefit concert sponsored by Handgun Control and the Million Mom March folks. Tomorrow, we begin covering the coronation of W and, more to the point, the protests thereof. We're set up right in the middle of Media Row, surrounded by every prominent right-wing radio angst merchant you can imagine. In addition to the morning show, I'll also be gathering sound and doing interviews in the marches and both covering and participating in the Shadow Conventions during the afternoons and evenings. If there's time, I'll try to squeeze out brief nightly updates. No promises, but there's much to tell here. The following burst cleans out a backlog... thanks for your patience. To recent subscribers... you're always welcome to forward these columns to anyone who you think might be interested. Just please keep the whole thing intact. Thanks! THE SCOOP for July 30, 2000 ___________________________ GOP Convention Notes #1 also: Sending Newt Gingrich A Message Via His Beer � 2000 Bob Harris http://www.bobharris.com mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] * * = italics GOP Convention notes from Saturday and early Sunday: On arrival, I received a GOP convention tote bag stuffed with the following goodies: * Dale Carnegie's "Golden Book" on how to Win Friends And Influence People. I can only imagine how helpful this will be when the police break out the pepper spray. * A pocket first aid kit -- consisting of four aspirins, six band-aids, and two antiseptic towelettes -- presumably for when the Dale Carnegie book fails. * A box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (manufactured by tobacco giant Philip Morris), with the pasta specially crafted into little GOP elephants and stars. The stars are enclosed in circles, making them strongly resemble Satanic pentagrams. My press credential is labeled "Limited Access." Yeah, me and about 280 million other Americans. The thin white cords from which our credentials hang from our necks have been sold for advertising space. There are 15,000 journalists in town, which works out to a ratio of three reporters per actual GOP delegate. Celebrities here to endorse George W. Bush include Ricky Schroeder and Bo Derek, two of the most thoughtful fighters for justice and civil rights America has ever produced. I swear to you this is the truth: the people at the Courtesy Desk were incredibly rude. The Lieutenant Governor of Michigan has arrived with a fleet of white vans emblazoned with a star-spangled elephant logo and his name in large print: Dick Posthumus. Gee, I thought that was Bob Dole's medical condition. ___________________________ Newt Gingrich is getting married. Again. What message, dear readers, shall we enclose on his wedding present? Let's back up. This August 18th, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich will vow his eternal and undying love for third time. Which, I think, shows a certain degree of reverence for the institution, so much so that one feels compelled to do it over and over and over. Contestant number three is a Congressional staff worker, Callista Bisek, with whom Gingrich was reportedly having an affair while a) moralizing about Bill Clinton and b) still married to contestant number two. Miss Callista is also young enough to be Newt's daughter, which I personally have no problem with; after all his campaign speeches about helping the youth of America, I'm just glad to see Newt finally getting in there and working with one. The couple is registered online (at http://www.macys.com and http://www.williams-sonoma.com), graciously offering to receive over $21,000 of shiny new happy crap. Sadly, however, as of this very morning, remarkably few Americans have taken Gingrich and the Newtess up on their offer. My favorite listing? Twelve beer steins. Made of Waterford Crystal. At $99 a pop. Let's leave aside the goofy pretentious tackiness of slurping beer from a crystal stein. Let's also ignore the sheer bad-ass illness of the omen -- a bridal registry entry foreseeing a houseful of boozy Republicans, occurring with such anticipated frequency that provisions must be acquired before vows are even said -- which most brides-to-be might see as a red flag large enough to bury Brezhnev. Let's merely contemplate that Mr. Newt seems to actually think himself deserving of over a thousand of other people's dollars just to buy him things to drink beer out of. And this man once had his hand on the federal budget... As of this morning, however, no one -- not a single American citizen -- has yet done their patriotic duty and bought Newt a single stein. Not one. OK. Allow me to be the first. And you guys can write the message. But why buy Newt, who clearly will never struggle for anything in life (other than a moral center) a gift? Because I also get to enclose a card, and it's hard to pass up an opportunity to reach the ears of Newt and his latest Newtess with an appropriate bon mot. And why a $99 crystal beer stein? Two reasons: a) I want the message to be heard over the din: Slate magazine recently reported that a number of former enemies of Gingrich have taken to buying him inexpensive kitchen crap like $3 wooden spoons -- which, it appears from the William-Sonoma site, have been ordered far in excess of the couple's anticipated needs -- in order to send messages in a similar fashion; and b) my own simple pleasure: somehow the mental image of Newt drinking alone is just aesthetically pleasing as all heck. But I don't want to hog the opportunity, and I want to make sure to enclose a message worth sending. So, gentle readers, allow me to open the contents of Newt's card to discussion. Email your suggestions to [EMAIL PROTECTED], and I'll share the best ones in a future column. The winner gets a copy of my book, Steal This Book And Get Life Without Parole (Common Courage Press), and, of course, the privilege of sending a message alongside Gingrich's crystal beer stein. Whatever message we send, I'm sure Newt will contemplate it thoughtfully next time he finds himself sitting alone, quaffing his lager, contemplating contestant number four. ___________________________ Bob Harris is a political humorist whose morning radio show can be heard online from 8-11 am EST at http://www.radioforchange.com. To receive a free email subscription to The Scoop, just send a blank email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] ___________________________ Bob�s Big Plug-O-Rama� (updated 7/29/00): *Steal This Book And Get Life Without Parole* was recently nominated for a Firecracker Alternative Book Award as one of the five best political books of the year. Also, the American Booksellers Association recently made *Steal This Book And Get Life Without Parole* a Recommended choice. The book can be ordered directly from http://www.commoncouragepress.com/steal.html at 25% off retail. You can read some ridiculously kind reviews at http://www.bobharris.com/book.htm. The morning show on www.RadioForChange.com airs from 8-11 each morning. Recent interviewees include Ralph Nader, Winona LaDuke, Doris "Granny D" Haddock, Cong. Dennis Kucinich (D-OH), Katha Pollitt, Earl Ofari Hutchinson, Ken Silverstein, Arianna Huffington, Kate Clinton, and Howard Zinn. The show is a total blast. The Hollywood Reporter has recently dubbed yours truly as an heir to the radio legacies of Howard Stern, Dr. Laura, and Rush Limbaugh. (They apparently meant it as a compliment.) Check out http://www.radioforchange.com from 8-11 am Eastern, 5-8 am Pacific. The pilot of "Twisted," my new online game show, is almost finished. Wirebreak.com is producing it in Flash animation, and you'll probably be able to see a short preview on their site. We're in negotiation with other websites and even some TV people about producing a series. More soon... Syndication of "This Is Bob Harris," the daily 60-second radio commentary, is rolling along. Call your favorite station and ask for the feature. They pay attention, honest. The one-minute commentaries are now also rebroadcast four times daily to over 140 countries by Armed Forces Radio. You can also hear an audio version of my commentaries online at Soapbox, which is at http://www.webactive.com/webactive/soapbox/monday.html. Http://www.bobharris.com is still in mid-update. The redesign of the main page and template for the others is complete; the rest of the pages will be updated in the next few weeks. Maybe. According to the domain names in the subscriber list, the email version of this column now has subscribers in 49 countries. 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