Hi. Before I get into the reason for my post, I must apologize for the subject.
It'll likely seem like Spam, but I didn't know what else to put into the
subject field. I need your prayers, not only about church, but about my life
here in general. I just can't win for losing any more. If one person's not
nagging me, the other is. If Shirley's not nagging me about being grown up,
then John's nagging me, because I'm on the computer. Shirley's my aunt, and
John's just living with us. It's likely a common-law marriage, which I find
both sickening and immoral. To me, that's about as bad as same sex marriage.
OK, maybe I'm out of line here, but that's just my opinion. I'm just fed up.
He's mainly nagging me because I'm not using headphones with it. I just want to
listen to it aloud for once in my life. Is that so bad? My speakers aren't that
loud. It doesn't bother Shirley, why can't he leave things alone? I told him to
take his pick between either me being on my computer or me popping the sock. I
have a sock shape that I flop around at times. I know, I'm 35 years old and
shouldn't be doing it, but for some reason, although I've tried many things, I
can't break the habit. I've prayed constantly about it, and just tried other
things, but I can't seem to totally get rid of the habit. It's about as bad as
having a demon. That's one reason why I'm glad I have a computer. When I'm
emailing friends, or just playing games, I'm busy, and I don't have time to
flop the sock. It's embarrassing. I'd like to just get rid of it. I feel as
helpless as that man in the Bible who was mute and couldn't speak because of an
unclean spirit before Jesus cast it out. I know he can help me like He did that
man. At least when He comes and takes us away, I won't be interested in either
that or the computer. Please pray that I'll find not only a good church that
preaches the Word like it's written, but that I'll also find a Christian home
to live in. It would be different if I could at least cook on the stove. I can
cook in the microwave, and I'm sure I could learn how to cook in a Crockpot,
but the stove? I'm not sure. Plus, the independent living programs offered in
this state are a joke. I'm not trying to make excuses, but I'm not sure that
out-of-state programs are an option. What I'd really like is my own apartment,
where someone could just come and teach me these things at home, help me label
the stove and whatnot, and just be there until I learned all I needed to learn.
Shirley keeps promising me that one day, we'll come into some money and they'll
build me an apartment at the end of the carport. Please forgive my language,
but I'm starting to believe that's just another lie from the pit of hell. They
just don't want me to find another place to live. Plus, they play the lottery,
which is not only gambling, but is a waste of money. I can't cling to false
hope like that. I've told them time and time again, there's no way we're going
to win the lottery, and the last thing I want is to be rich. I'd rather have
Jesus than all the money in the world any day. Please forgive me for being
long-winded, but since this group is supposed to be a safe haven for those who
seek prayer, I felt led to pour out my heart. I know this is just dirty laundry
and rotten baggage that shouldn't be broadcast over a public forum like this,
and it's a distinct possibility that I've offended someone here, and if so,
please forgive me, but I can't bear this burden alone. I've prayed, yes, and
I'm waiting on God to answer this prayer, but while I'm waiting, I just didn't
want to carry it alone. Please pray, and come on, Lord Jesus.
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