> I’m suggesting a way how we can adopt a proven way
> If that makes you want to unsubscribe, farewell.

That is exactly what I called iron ordnung. Extreme unfriendliness is only
allowed for your here, Jan. The one thing I fear now is that people are
afraid to say ‘but’, or take a contrarian position in general. How can we
avoid that?

Without phrases ‘You don‘t like it? Farewell’, surely.

ermouth

2015-09-14 15:26 GMT+03:00 Jan Lehnardt <[email protected]>:

> Of course, this could have gone this way:
>
> “That’s an interesting approach, is there more literature on how and why
> this is supposed to work?”
> “Here’s a bunch of links: …”
> “Gotcha, the one thing I fear now is that people are afraid to say ‘but’,
> or take a contrarian position in general. How can we avoid that?”
> “I think it comes back to trust, if we all trust each other, that we have
> the best of the project in mind, we shouldn’t have a problem disagreeing
> with each other.”
>
> But then again, that would be a sign of the method working…
>
> Best
> Jan
> --
>
>
> > On 14 Sep 2015, at 14:15, ermouth <[email protected]> wrote:
> >
> > Well, next good step is to write it in CoC. Something like “Starting post
> > with ‘But’ is unwelcomed here’. You surely attract tons of contributors
> > with this.
> >
> > As for me the only desire after reading this is not to subscribe, but to
> > unsubscribe. Imposed iron ordnung is surely far more uncomfortable, then
> > posts, starting with ‘but‘.
> >
> > Also I see this policy just leave important questions undiscussed –
> nobody
> > dare to say ‘but’.
> >
> >
> > ermouth
> >
> > 2015-09-14 13:52 GMT+03:00 Jan Lehnardt <[email protected]>:
> >
> >>
> >>> On 14 Sep 2015, at 12:08, Alexander Shorin <[email protected]> wrote:
> >>>
> >>> Hi Jan
> >>>
> >>> On Mon, Sep 14, 2015 at 12:57 PM, Jan Lehnardt <[email protected]> wrote:
> >>>> We agreed on a “Yes and…”-style of feedback, and it looks like that we
> >>>> are defaulting to a “But…”-style feedback.
> >>>
> >>> Could you explain what are "Yes and..." and "But..." feedback styles
> >>> and how they are different?
> >>
> >> Sure, I had hoped that just mentioning this recalls our previous
> >> discussions. Here’s an example (sorry Michelle for picking on your
> example
> >> here, but it was freshest in my mind. In general, I don’t mean to
> re-play
> >> this as it happened on dev@, and I don’t want to single out anyone in
> >> particular, so I changed things a little):
> >>
> >>
> >> “But…”-style:
> >>
> >> “Hey, let’s create a design@ mailing list for designers.”
> >>
> >> “That’s a bad idea, we already have www@ and nobody uses that.”
> >>
> >> “…”
> >>
> >> <after a few of these, the person with the original suggestion leaves
> the
> >> project>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> “Yes, and…”-style:
> >>
> >> “Hey, let’s create a design@ mailing list for designers.”
> >>
> >> “That’s an interesting idea: safe spaces are important! We still have
> the
> >> somewhat dormant (which is a different discussion) www@ mailing list
> for
> >> website stuff, have you considered repurposing this?”
> >>
> >> “Ah, good call, maybe that works, but I feel www@ isn’t as inviting a
> >> name as design@ is.”
> >>
> >> “I can understand that. If we go down that path, what would be even more
> >> inviting than a design@ mailing list? I can imagine that our mailing
> list
> >> system is not very approachable for designers to begin with, maybe we
> >> should look at a Discourse instance or a Slack channel?“
> >>
> >> <fruitful conversation continues>
> >>
> >> * * *
> >>
> >> If your read this and thing “golly, ‘But…’-style is a lot more
> efficient,
> >> we don’t have a lot of people contributing in the first place, so
> cutting
> >> these discussions short is brilliant”, just know that our #1 purpose as
> a
> >> project must be to attract more contributors. Having more contributors
> is
> >> the #1 thing that makes sure CouchDB is a long-term success. It makes
> sure
> >> that individuals don’t burn out, it helps with more diverse ideas making
> >> the project better, it helps get us more stuff done overall. Long-term,
> it
> >> doesn’t matter if 2.0 is delayed by a couple of more weeks, but it does
> >> matter if the people who help shipping 2.0 leave the project right
> after,
> >> because it was such a burden to do that they lost interest or simply
> burned
> >> out.
> >>
> >> * * *
> >>
> >> Best
> >> Jan
> >> --
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>>
> >>> --
> >>> ,,,^..^,,,
> >>
> >> --
> >> Professional Support for Apache CouchDB:
> >> http://www.neighbourhood.ie/couchdb-support/
> >>
> >>
>
> --
> Professional Support for Apache CouchDB:
> http://www.neighbourhood.ie/couchdb-support/
>
>

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