On Tuesday, 13 December 2016 at 05:27:01 UTC, Andrei Alexandrescu wrote:

I'm about to fall asleep, but I made a quick pass through the piece. Here are a few nits:

Thanks for an extensive feedback, Andrei! I've followed up 99% of fixes given here[1], but unfortunately I'll be unavailable for the rest of the day, so I'm passing the torch (or the hot potato) to Ilya.


* "we’ve been actively refactoring" -> define the team; so far the article referred to the author as a single person
I've done the coding, but couldn't have done it without Ilya's consulting, so I put the 'Mir team' there. Hope thats ok.


* "On my machine" -> "On a Core i7 laptop with xyz GB or RAM and xyz other relevant parameters..."

There are specs shown at the top of the post, so I thought it would be best just to remove the "On my machine part". Again, I hope that's alright.


I suggest making two passes through the piece: (a) one pass should reduce fillers that are abundant ("as you can see", "as I'll show you", "as said in the docs"...) A few are fine (perhaps 2-3 in the whole article. Then (b) one pass looking for unified use of "I" (most likely: the author, use sparingly), "you" (the reader, use sparingly), and "we" (most likely: the author and reader looking together at something).

As I've demonstrated, I'm quite unexperienced with writing. :) So, thanks for the feedback, I've learned a lot! If I catch some time during the day, I'll be sure to take another glance at it!


The results are terrific, congrats Ilya and Relja!


Andrei

Thanks a lot Andrei!
Relja

[1] https://github.com/libmir/blog/pull/32

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