On 5/5/2021 11:48 AM, Todd Herr wrote:
We would like to achieve rough consensus on this section of text by Friday, May 21.
Apologies. I've only just been able to review this text. Attached are suggested changes, done as a Word document with revision tracking turned on.
It might appear that the edits effect major substance changes to the Introduction, but I believe they do not; the intent was to retain the same goals for the Introduction.
Changes were driven by: * Providing better lead-in for readers with less background on the document's topic * Eliminating detail that is not need in an introduction * Minimizing PSO text, since I belive the covered domains have Domain Owners whether they are PSOs or not; hence the fact of being a PSO has minimal import in the Introduction * General wordsmithing, to tighten things up d/ -- Dave Crocker [email protected] 408.329.0791 Volunteer, Silicon Valley Chapter Information & Planning Coordinator American Red Cross [email protected]
DMARCbis-Intro-dcrocker.docx
Description: MS-Word 2007 document
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