Wow, so many ideas and thoughts and feelings floating around out there in
cyberspace, I'm not sure I know where to go with them all. I guess I'll
start with Bob.
When I say listen, I meant in the simplest way: listen to the stories and
lives and words of the people you talk with. Listen to what women want to
say to you. Ask them about themselves. Try not to be so preoccupied with
your own needs/wants/desires. Women have been taught this from the
earliest days - focus on the other. and in a lot of ways, it is a lousy
way to try to connect to people. But in college, I got really tired of
listening to men tell me how pro-feminist, how environmentally aware, how
very hip and cool they were. all of that went out the window come Friday
night, when they looked for the shortest skirt around. So what I mean is
listen to people when you talk to them. and try to take it all one moment
at a time. People (not just women) see right through you if you are
clearly chomping at the bit to have a relationship, sexual or spiritual.
And that kind of eagerness terrifies people.
Jake,
thanks for your sharing. The take back the night thing is painful to me.
I am sorry that you had the experience of exclusion. I need to think more
about that.
Tasha,
I like what you said about doing what makes each person feel safe. and
surviving. That is what we have to do, what they most don't want us to
do.
Until next time,
Heather
===
The truth knocks on the door and you say,
"Go away, I'm looking for the truth,"
and so it goes away. Puzzling.
-Robert Pirsig
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Bid and sell for free at http://auctions.yahoo.com
