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Different operating systems. Different styles. But what if the quirks
and styles of the different operating systems were applied to AIRLINES?
What if airlines ran things the way operating systems do? This humorous
analogy, applying operating system philosophies as if they were
airlines, is a long-standing much-circulated amusing story, and we'd
credit the author if we knew who wrote it!

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines... 

UNIX Airways 

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the
airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece
by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to
be building.

Air DOS 

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let
the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again,
jump on again, and so on... 

Mac Airlines 

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and
act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you
are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to
know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to
know, so just shut up.

Windows Air 

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy
baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10
minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever. 

Windows NT Air 

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and
takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it
explodes.

Windows XP Air 

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air
planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three
times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the
same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and
pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken
off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to
everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost.
The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The
inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse
cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel
agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly
throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get
charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will
always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air 

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their
own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the
runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of
printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket
yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and
a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat
is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a
single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell
customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can
say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

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