Hunter S. Thompson, for those who couldn't pick it. On Saturday, April 12, 2014, Platonist Guitar Cowboy < [email protected]> wrote:
> Thompson's take on a Buddhist he knew, which you'll take with a huge grain > of salt, as with everything he writes. Just a small theological anecdote, > if you will. :-) PGC: > > *“I knew a Buddhist once, and I’ve hated myself ever since. The whole > thing was a failure. He was a priest of some kind, and he was also > extremely rich. They called him a monk and he wore the saffron robes and I > hated him because of his arrogance. He thought he knew everything.* > > *One day I was trying to rent a large downtown property from him, and he > mocked me. ‘You are dumb’ he said. ‘You are doomed if you stay in this > business. The stupid are gobbled up quickly.’ ‘I understand’ I said. ‘I am > stupid. I am doomed but I think I know something you don’t.’ He laughed. > ‘Nonsense’ he said. ‘You are a fool. You know nothing.’ I nodded > respectfully and leaned closer to him, as if to whisper a secret. ‘I know > the answer to the greatest riddle of all,’ I said. He chuckled. ‘And what > is that?’ he said. ‘And you’d better be right, or I’ll kill you.’* > > *‘I know the sound of one hand clapping,’ I said. ‘I have finally > discovered the answer.’ Several other Buddhists in the room laughed out > loud, at this point. I know they wanted to humiliate me, and now they had > me trapped – because there is no answer to that question. These saffron > bastards have been teasing us with it forever. They are amused at our > failure to grasp it.* > > *Ho ho, I went into a drastic crouch and hung my left hand low, behind my > knee. ‘Lean closer,’ I said to him. ‘I want to answer your high and > unanswerable question.’ As he leaned his bright bald head a little closer > into my orbit, I suddenly leaped up and bashed him flat on the ear with the > palm of my left hand. It was slightly cupped, so as to deliver maximum > energy on impact. An isolated package of air is suddenly driven through the > Eustachian tube and into the middle brain at quantum speed, causing pain, > fear and extreme insult to the tissue.* > > *The monk staggered sideways and screamed, grasping his head in agony. > Then he fell to the floor and cursed me. ‘You swine!’ he croaked. ‘Why did > you hit me and burst my eardrum?’ ‘Because that,’ I said, ‘is the sound of > one hand clapping. That is the answer to your question. I have the answer > now, and you are deaf.’ ’Indeed’ he said. ‘I am deaf, but I am smarter. I > am wise in a different way.’ He grinned vacantly and reached out to shake > my hand. ‘You are welcome,’ I said. ‘I am after all a doctor.’ “* > > -- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "Everything List" group. > To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an > email to > [email protected]<javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','everything-list%[email protected]');> > . > To post to this group, send email to > [email protected]<javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','[email protected]');> > . > Visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/everything-list. > For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout. > -- Stathis Papaioannou -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Everything List" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. To post to this group, send email to [email protected]. Visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/everything-list. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
