We can't park here, it's bat country!

H.Thompson


-----Original Message-----
From: Stathis Papaioannou <[email protected]>
To: everything-list <[email protected]>
Sent: Sat, Apr 12, 2014 10:42 pm
Subject: Re: Thompson's Answer: Sound of One Hand clapping


Hunter S. Thompson, for those who couldn't pick it.

On Saturday, April 12, 2014, Platonist Guitar Cowboy <[email protected]> 
wrote:


                    
Thompson's take on a Buddhist he knew, which you'll take with a huge grain of 
salt, as with everything he writes. Just a small theological anecdote, if you 
will. :-) PGC:

“I knew a Buddhist once, and I’ve hated myself ever since. The whole thing was 
a failure. He was a priest of some kind, and he was also extremely rich. They 
called him a monk and he wore the saffron robes and I hated him because of his 
arrogance. He thought he knew everything.
One day I was trying to rent a large downtown property from him, and he mocked 
me. ‘You are dumb’ he said. ‘You are doomed if you stay in this business. The 
stupid are gobbled up quickly.’ ‘I understand’ I said. ‘I am stupid. I am 
doomed but I think I know something you don’t.’  He laughed. ‘Nonsense’ he 
said. ‘You are a fool. You know nothing.’ I nodded respectfully and leaned 
closer to him, as if to whisper a secret. ‘I know the answer to the greatest 
riddle of all,’ I said. He chuckled. ‘And what is that?’  he said. ‘And you’d 
better be right, or I’ll kill you.’
‘I know the sound of one hand clapping,’ I said. ‘I have finally discovered the 
answer.’     Several other Buddhists in the room laughed out loud, at this 
point. I know they wanted to humiliate me, and now they had me trapped – 
because there is no answer to that question. These saffron bastards have been 
teasing us with it forever. They are amused at our failure to grasp it.
Ho ho, I went into a drastic crouch and hung my left hand low, behind my knee. 
‘Lean closer,’ I said to him. ‘I want to answer your high and unanswerable 
question.’ As he leaned his bright bald head a little closer into my orbit, I 
suddenly leaped up and bashed him flat on the ear with the palm of my left 
hand. It was slightly cupped, so as to deliver maximum energy on impact. An 
isolated package of air is suddenly driven through the Eustachian tube and into 
the middle brain at quantum speed, causing pain, fear and extreme insult to the 
tissue.
The monk staggered sideways and screamed, grasping his head in agony. Then he 
fell to the floor and cursed me. ‘You swine!’ he croaked. ‘Why did you hit me 
and burst my eardrum?’ ‘Because that,’ I said, ‘is the sound of one hand 
clapping. That is the answer to your question. I have the answer now, and you 
are deaf.’  ’Indeed’ he said. ‘I am deaf, but I am smarter. I am wise in a 
different way.’ He grinned vacantly and reached out to shake my hand. ‘You are 
welcome,’ I said. ‘I am after all a doctor.’ “
                                    

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-- 
Stathis Papaioannou

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