RE: [FairfieldLife] Re: I would like to try an experiment in compassion

[mark robert]

From: rudra_joe [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Saturday, March 19, 2005 3:04 AM To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: I would like to try an experiment in compassion   "Might take" you say, I figure you would know for sure being such an official for the cosmic construction project. I'm not sure if I am a regular or decaff meditator. If I'm a poly-drug user do I have do be reborn based on the number of drugs I use? I never knew drug addicts just were not following "advice" and they were determined to be miserable tortured souls. They need you to tell them that. You are not only a spiritual snob but a moron as well. Do you have to do extra lifetimes for illegal drugs as opposed to booze. What if you have a prescription for pot from your doctor? I think you are more like a spiritual hayseed. ----C'mon Easyone, take it easy, aye?  I think Bob just meant that I would have to die first before my addictions would make the sort of sense that they should have made had I just listened to the advice of wiser sages that myself. I can't fault that logic. But it isn't as great advice necessarily as say, take Ibogaine, or Tabernathe iboga. that's great advice because you see, druggies like to take drugs, just like fat people like to eat, and THP like to have serial sexual relations.  It's just the nature of neurotic self grasping. I know it. I could quit dope if I stopped working in the French Quarter, but it feels so goddamn right to be stoned, working hard, then hanging out with the brothers on the sidewalk smoking and goofin.  What, i can't do that when I'm not stoned, when I don't smoke cigs?  Not really because my whole mind changes and shit just isn't very meaningful anymore. I truely feel like normal awareness even of the transcendental kind is pretty flat in the West, and tamasic. Dope counters that. Fact is for me, no drugs, no motivation.  Thene I start to sleep more and more until it's way too much and then I get heavy and dull and depressed, then spaced out.   Oh, BTW I was straight and didn't drink, smoke or anything for three years from about 9/12/00 to last year before mardi gras. This last bout with dope has been for a year straight. I'm just scared for my health as I know that I'm playing with bad karma. Fact is, I have been happier last year than ever before in all my entire life. I felt so much joy and beauty.  And support of nature. I'm not lying.  Support of nature doesn't turn off merely because one is wasted. God takes care of drunks and children. Why? because they're so goddamn funny.   I know we've all experienced this, that is, feeling like dopey little kids due to too much sattva, and most people just scratching their heads at you going, what planet did you say you were from?  Yeah, I get sick of that reaction, so I joined them. I'm a sell out.  The kind of deja vu Jesus would go through if he had to do the whole act again over and over. It shows how fucking painful his experience was that we only have the one account and not a bunch of other pretenders. My point is that I don't like being the spacey kid in the corner with the dunce cap on.  And since pot clues me into a realm of possibilities that when straight are hitherto unknown I can only consider that it's an entheogenic pathology that I have, or one of cross species allied functioning.  Like said, I don't like the drug the drug likes me.    I'm just hoping that someday, someway, I'll be motivated to stop for good, instead of pushing the gas for evil. ;) Maybe when we have a kid I'll chill.    -----------------------     RJ,   Don’t want to be out of line, but can I ask a personal question? The question is relevant for any addict. Don’t answer if you don’t want, and I won’t follow up. Were you abused or molested or “coerced” (before you knew what you were doing) as a youngster?   -Mark   PS: Your last statement is a lousy reason to have a kid, and a very bad bet to make. But you probably knew that.   To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ADVERTISEMENT Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/   To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED]   Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.