"And Curtis, you got pissed that I used your name when I questioned if you were a predator in a post's title. I think you had a valid point -- I too KNOW THE POWER OF WORD ASSOCIATION IMPACTS ON MINDS, but, what?, you're going to be silent when Judy makes an actual false accusation against me?"
I wouldn't have jumped in to defend Turq either but he didn't want to bother and I thought you brought up a lot of interesting writing to comment on. Of course I didn't want to get associated with being a predator as spillover from your rant about Turq. I work in schools and this kind of misinformation on the net is unfair and could hurt me. I think you and Judy do pretty well defending yourselves. I really didn't understand Judy's comment because I haven't always followed your exchanges. Having read some of them that you posted here I understand your history better. Your Judy picture comment was so different from my take. I didn't see any of the qualities you did in her picture. I saw "bemusement" if I had to sum it up, and it made me think of Judy more as a person than an entity online. It improved our communications IMO. I guess with all the writing we aren't going to get you off your mission with Turq. It is too bad because I enjoy when you guys write together but this is a deal and conversation killer. I hope you will at least consider the feedback you got. When Judy jumps in to defend Barry, you know something is up! As I said before, I enjoy your writing even when I disagree and appreciate your willingness for dialog. If you are over leering at sweet young things I can really only feel sorry for you and pray (that's a good one!) that this fate of walking death never strikes me down. Whenever a sweet thing puts a dollar my tip jar I tell them "that was the prettiest dollar I've gotten all day." The look on their face makes it clear that appreciation is appreciated! --- In [email protected], Duveyoung <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Judy, > > Me? I feel like De Niro -- you talkin' to me? Judy, with your > magnificent brain, are you imagining me trying to rape and murder? > > Barry got all upset and started heavy flaming when someone accused him > of being a murderer because he "was there" for women who might opt for > an abortion. So, I guess Barry's modeled for me, eh? > > Ready, Judy? > > Your words: "Either he ({Edg}) doesn't always see through the armor, > or he is sometimes moved not to honor and cherish the little girl he > finds inside, but to try to rape and murder her in retribution for the > outer tough part having given him a hard time." > > Judy, come on, fight fair. Poetry is one thing, but these aspersions > of your imagination are so far "out there," that I cannot let this go > unchallenged. Which of my posts could possibly lead to such a statement? > > I flamed you in the past, so now, what?, you've decided that any White > Knightism on my part has to be countered with your attacking me? Is > that "your deal?" Tired of calling Barry on his stuff, so now, I'm > next? I guess I deserve it. Hell, I know I deserve it, but do you > deserve to have such vile fictional ad hominems in your history of > critique? You chided me for the same self-abuse -- hypocrisy, eh? > I'll repeat my self-abuse below -- but only for medicinal purposes. > > Below's why I think you're pissed enough to be so over the top on my > ass; here's some of my past flaming of you. I include it here just > for the fun of it, cuz, like I'm in a bar, so anything goes, right? > Put up your dukes! Ah, good, now you're warned and cannot be harmed. > I'll be fairer still and warn you to not bother reading the next few > flaming paragraphs so's to avoid being triggered. But if you do read > them, I don't have to care if your tender feeling level is attacked, > right? I don't have to consider your background, your age, nothing, > right? > > Here's my descriptions of you when I flamed -- it's easier to repeat > the words than make up more flames, and since they seemed to have hit > your "guilt spot," why not use them again, eh?: > > ". . . the photograph that I've seen of "you," here online, is > wrinkled with, IMO, angst-plowed troughs in blotched skin -- a face of > simmering hate brought on by endless grimacing that I seem to "see" > daily worn by you here." > > And, > > "I'm betting that I will find and cite post after post of yours that > plainly shows stupidity, mean-heartedness, egoic attachment to > falsities, failed spirituality, general all around low esteem, a self > image of inconsequentiality, and deep fears such as "I'm an old woman > seeing death around the corner, and all I can do is strike out at > others in blind panic." > > And, > > "After all, I've seen what was purported to be your photograph, and if > that wasn't you, well, it sure seemed to be a good match for the > spiritual degradation that you've shown here. "Your" photograph, IMO, > is reason enough for you to change your name and stop posting anywhere > on the Internet. IMO, you must have not had any love in your life for > at least a decade -- given the sad, depressed countenance that I think > was plainly showing in "your" photograph. I've seen similar faces > sitting in the "day rooms" of the mental hospitals where I gave first > lectures. If you are insane, of course, then I pity you and take back > any assertions or opinions of "mindful evil" on your part. Seems > mindful to me though. And, if mindful, then you're up for the "Skank > of Fairfield Life" award. For all your intelligence and > perceptiveness, IMO, you're stupid and blind in your angry obsessions." > > Ah, it still feels so right to flame back. How was that for you, > Judy? The above was me being triggered for the words "liar and > fuckhead," so imagine what you've escaped by my not doing up another > description of you as punishment for your words "rape and murder." > I'm the very picture of restraint, eh? > > I confronted Barry about his nonchallance about the possibility of > being a predator, and you, a woman, seem okay with his 007 license to > fuck, cuz, well, judging by your posts about this issue, I think you > think you'll get lucky and find a young man for a trophy boy toy, and > then, Barry's morality can be a handy stance to mimic. > > What other reason for your silence in the face of Barry's saying, > > "And yeah, she is 'way cute, and I would be the luckiest guy on earth > if I were fortunate enough to be hittin' that. (snip) I can tell > already that this young girl and her sister and I are going to become > really good friends." > > He may hardly ever have sex with young women, but clearly he thinks he > has a right to try for it, and would be lucky if he was able to > convince them to "let old age creep up on them." This attitude is a > horrid rationalization for licensing any man to listen to his dick. > And his dick will telling him to say whatever, do whatever it takes as > clearly as the "Little, pitchfork wielding, Red Devil On One's > Shoulder" does to characters in cartoons. > > I remember a politician complaining that the congress can't pass a > high tax on rich folks cuz all the poor folks are against it cuz they > think they'll win a lottery some day and want not to have to then pay > 70% of it in taxes when they're rich. Sigh. > > Same deal? Anyone thinking they'll score a trophy wife or boy toy and > want to make sure I shut up about the morality of it? Yeah, people > make their own beds and have to sleep in them, but espouse it as a > good method for evolution? Who here would want a child of there's to > end up a trophy wife or boy toy? NO ONE. PERIOD. > > I'm being told I'm creepily suspect because I've exaggerated the > importance of the tender feeling level in ordinary life. Yes, I broke > my own ideals when I flamed you and others, and indeed, my reposting > of the flames constitute flaming, and, Rick, I should be kicked off > for a week. But for you, Judy, to come back at me and suggest that > the words "rape and murder" are adjectives for your summation of > "whatever you think Edg is," then, maybe you need to look into the > same mirror you're wanting me to look into. Talk about creepy. > > And Curtis, you got pissed that I used your name when I questioned if > you were a predator in a post's title. I think you had a valid point > -- I too KNOW THE POWER OF WORD ASSOCIATION IMPACTS ON MINDS, but, > what?, you're going to be silent when Judy makes an actual false > accusation against me? > > And for you true believers out there, don't forget that I did TM four > hours a day for 29 years -- my personality is what resulted -- notice > my increase positivity, my decreased negativity? Neither do I? > > Judy, you at least owe your own reputation here an apology, for you > have damaged it deeply to so knee-jerkingly berate me with such > triggering words. You might try to weasel out of this sinning by some > sort of justification for your dark fictions, but try to be a bit more > close to reality please, and tone down the hyperbole. > > Or, hey, I'm a writer, just keep it up. I love the creative challenge > of coming up with a decent flaming. And I will risk being kicked off > here by flaming you, but, pause and consider first, Judy, that I will > do some of my best words to try to get your emotions as irked as > you've attempted to do to me with your egregious "rape and murder." > > All's fair in bars; all are able to defend themselves, so no harm > could result in any words I would write about you, right? The flames > didn't touch you at all, right? > > Or, is it that I attacked Barry, FINALLY FOR SOMETHING ACTUALLY > IMPORTANT, and you didn't, and now you are jealous? > > Meanwhile, Bronte has, so far, had the "best take on the > problem-of-Edg," here, and I bow before her vision -- it was very kind > of her to try to be an apologist for me despite her disagreement with > much of what I've posted. I'd call that integrity, but my liking her > opinion is of course self-serving; where are the others here who can > see that I'm fighting to keep the light that Kali is gradually > extinguishing? > > Kindness is leaving the planet. Responsibility towards one's culture > is fading. Stewardship is getting pretty scarce. > > Speak up on my behalf all you who once thought the world could be > saved by TM -- my White Knightism is a sin you've known also. A sin > because of my impotency and ego, but the intent is holy -- it is to > preserve as much of goodness as possible for as long as possible as > this world slides into hell. > > I would be willing to bet a ton of money that Barry and Judy both have > used my same exaggeration, projection and hyperbole when it comes to > describing George Bush, but, ho boy, Edg's using those tools are bad, > and then, next thing you know, hey, stomp Edg, cuz you know how much > he reminds me of myself -- so uncomfortable. > > What next? If my daughter gets married, and I'm watching her dance > her first dance with the groom, does Barry get the right to sidle up > to me, jab my ribs with a lecherous elbow, point at my child and say, > "Huzzah huzzah, I'd like to hit that!" ??? If Barry were to be that > insensitive, would the rest of you be angry if I smack him a good one? > > My bad for even fictioning that he'd be so crass. He's knows how to > mind his p's and q's "in person." But, what? am I'm expected to "be > like all men and leer" when a pretty young thing goes by, and everyone > here will be okay with me hooting and hawing about what they'd do > "with that stuff...."??? Our culture's fantasy of "pure young woman," > is pissed on thereby. > > It's about what is "generally acceptable," and I see that standards > are moving towards anarchy in every culture in the world, and that the > forces of evil afoot are made happier thereby. Anarchy now being > touted as "The Outlaw Path To Enlightenment." > > It's tawdry, it's low, it's predatory to leer or to disguise one's > leering as a "friendly drink with friends at a bar." And, don't miss > my deeper concept: it doesn't have to be about sex. It's about being > a manipulative energy vampire -- grabbing attention that's easy to get > instead of earning subtler intimacy and progress by engaging in > honesty for hours and hours and hours of confessions and truths shared > and symbolizing love with bon mots, caressing and gazing into each > other. Having snappy repartee in a bar and thinking oneself very > clever and maybe destined to get lucky, is simply aggrandizement by an > elitist of the leverage tools he's able to command. > > It takes a ton of time and dedication to even begin to get a handle on > relationship honesty. To hang around bars and just do the easy stuff > is so superficial, so egoic, so outer directed, and it's so wildass > goofy to expect that bar hopping as a bard is a lifestyle that will > serve up much profit for the soul. I love Turq; he's written so much > good stuff here, but I'm thinking he's just tired of trying to find a > high road to travel, so now he's glorifying the curmudgeon's low roads > where, yes, lessons can be learned, but not with dignity and clarity > if agendas are kept hidden. Projection?, yep, truth about Barry?, > judge him by his words above. > > With Barry's vast, and I mean vast, experience with all manners of > "things deep," for him to not be an ideal inspiration to everyone is a > great loss to our culture. We should have a way to find people like > him, and put them into teaching roles, and reward them tons. I trot > out my homilies based on very few experiences, but, with his history, > why he should be overflowing with them far more clearly embraced, and > he should be a model of compassion at the least for the human > condition. Where are there not blind folks everywhere needing help? > Those with the acuity of Barry should be guiding others to deeper > fulfillment, instead of "guiding others until they're drunk enough, or > infatuated enough -- for Barry's purposes." He should be about giving > darshan. I know, "should should should." > > If Barry has ever excoriated Maharishi Mahesh Yogi for abusing his > position of power by having sex with young women, then let Barry be > judged by the same rules. Barry has immense powers to delude, and he > has yet to deny that he uses them self-servingly. > > I have been beaten to a pulp by life. I have seen what my > manipulation of others has done to me. I have sinned terribly. > Terribly. The costs have been huge. Don't ask, it would be too > embarrassing to detail my history of egoic stupidity, but don't think > that I'm giving up trying to keep my inner rascal on a short leash. > > I don't tempt the rascal on purpose -- he's too good at getting me to > do things. I don't do porn. I don't do leering. I don't do bars. I > don't do fantasizing about women -- I'm too old to not be concerned > for the contents of my mind. I know the story on slippery slopes when > one is playing with fire. My life is a tale of such a fool. > > To me, the good life is about being a village-of-one and raising > everyone's inner child with a true tenderness. > > And, if I could do this perfectly according to my own clarity, I still > wouldn't be allowed in Sat Yuga, but why make things darker and darker > and darker with a low surrendering to base identifications? > > And to balance. I often tell this sad story about my travails due to > my own failings -- but, that is merely one side of my story. On the > other side, I have been blessed in ways that make me think God is > kookoo. I live in a heaven compared to what I had most of my life. > Retired, recreational money, and a woman with a heart that loves so > unreservedly that I feel sunburned by the radiance of it. > > I feel completely overpaid for my travails. > > Edg > > > > > > > > > > --- In [email protected], "authfriend" <jstein@> wrote: > > > Either he doesn't always see through the armor, > > or he is sometimes moved not to honor and cherish > > the little girl he finds inside, but to try to rape > > and murder her in retribution for the outer tough > > part having given him a hard time. > > >
