Edg, you have fallen off the white horse. Come on, buddy. This is just wrong.
You were one of the main forces on this forum for cleaning up the flaming. You
inspired us all. Now, you've let your inner devil out and given him a good kick
in the pants on top of it to really get him going.
When I see this, it makes me think, why bother? Where's the hope for
Fairfield Life? We have a few great weeks, and SLAM - it crumbles back down
into ego issues again. You are better than this. You are a white knight. You
don't have to let your devil take over FFL anymore than you have to release it
into your personal life. This forum is a special place, and it doesn't deserve
besmirching with such hatred anymore than your relationship or family does.
Please show us the same respect.
My god, the repercussions I foresee from what you unleashed here. Folks, if
you can, contain the dragon and just don't respond. Judy, I am outraged that
people have attacked you personally in such cruel ways and that Edg would
REPEAT his flames against you here! Your picture is just beautiful, by the way
-- it shows such strength, wisdom and character! I don't think you were right
to say Edg raped and murdered you intellectually, as that was too inflamatory
and digging into mistakes of the past we had all resolved to put behind us,
when we were all trying to get things back on a harmonious keel. Look at what
happened as a result of those words.
You know, folks, I'm getting sick of this shit. Is what most people in this
group wants is just to annihilate each other? If so, let out all the stops and
go for it. Wallow in hate and destruction of all good feelings. Why not go out
and kill a few people and drink their blood while you're at it? If that's what
people really value, do it and enjoy yourselves. But I thought people wanted to
stop the personal attacks, to work from the level of their better selves and to
focus on progressive discussion. That is NEVER going to happen if we're civil
to each other 3 days then fling soul-destructive shit on day 4. We might as
well all quit the effort.
Edg, it hurts me so much that you have fallen back into this pit. You were my
inspiration. You owe Judy and Turq a MAJOR apology, and all the rest of us, for
that matter. Work thru your shit with a therapist, and quit shoving it in
everybody's face. We're fucking damn well sick of it.
- Bronte
Duveyoung <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Judy,
Me? I feel like De Niro -- you talkin' to me? Judy, with your
magnificent brain, are you imagining me trying to rape and murder?
Barry got all upset and started heavy flaming when someone accused him
of being a murderer because he "was there" for women who might opt for
an abortion. So, I guess Barry's modeled for me, eh?
Ready, Judy?
Your words: "Either he ({Edg}) doesn't always see through the armor,
or he is sometimes moved not to honor and cherish the little girl he
finds inside, but to try to rape and murder her in retribution for the
outer tough part having given him a hard time."
Judy, come on, fight fair. Poetry is one thing, but these aspersions
of your imagination are so far "out there," that I cannot let this go
unchallenged. Which of my posts could possibly lead to such a statement?
I flamed you in the past, so now, what?, you've decided that any White
Knightism on my part has to be countered with your attacking me? Is
that "your deal?" Tired of calling Barry on his stuff, so now, I'm
next? I guess I deserve it. Hell, I know I deserve it, but do you
deserve to have such vile fictional ad hominems in your history of
critique? You chided me for the same self-abuse -- hypocrisy, eh?
I'll repeat my self-abuse below -- but only for medicinal purposes.
Below's why I think you're pissed enough to be so over the top on my
ass; here's some of my past flaming of you. I include it here just
for the fun of it, cuz, like I'm in a bar, so anything goes, right?
Put up your dukes! Ah, good, now you're warned and cannot be harmed.
I'll be fairer still and warn you to not bother reading the next few
flaming paragraphs so's to avoid being triggered. But if you do read
them, I don't have to care if your tender feeling level is attacked,
right? I don't have to consider your background, your age, nothing,
right?
Here's my descriptions of you when I flamed -- it's easier to repeat
the words than make up more flames, and since they seemed to have hit
your "guilt spot," why not use them again, eh?:
". . . the photograph that I've seen of "you," here online, is
wrinkled with, IMO, angst-plowed troughs in blotched skin -- a face of
simmering hate brought on by endless grimacing that I seem to "see"
daily worn by you here."
And,
"I'm betting that I will find and cite post after post of yours that
plainly shows stupidity, mean-heartedness, egoic attachment to
falsities, failed spirituality, general all around low esteem, a self
image of inconsequentiality, and deep fears such as "I'm an old woman
seeing death around the corner, and all I can do is strike out at
others in blind panic."
And,
"After all, I've seen what was purported to be your photograph, and if
that wasn't you, well, it sure seemed to be a good match for the
spiritual degradation that you've shown here. "Your" photograph, IMO,
is reason enough for you to change your name and stop posting anywhere
on the Internet. IMO, you must have not had any love in your life for
at least a decade -- given the sad, depressed countenance that I think
was plainly showing in "your" photograph. I've seen similar faces
sitting in the "day rooms" of the mental hospitals where I gave first
lectures. If you are insane, of course, then I pity you and take back
any assertions or opinions of "mindful evil" on your part. Seems
mindful to me though. And, if mindful, then you're up for the "Skank
of Fairfield Life" award. For all your intelligence and
perceptiveness, IMO, you're stupid and blind in your angry obsessions."
Ah, it still feels so right to flame back. How was that for you,
Judy? The above was me being triggered for the words "liar and
fuckhead," so imagine what you've escaped by my not doing up another
description of you as punishment for your words "rape and murder."
I'm the very picture of restraint, eh?
I confronted Barry about his nonchallance about the possibility of
being a predator, and you, a woman, seem okay with his 007 license to
fuck, cuz, well, judging by your posts about this issue, I think you
think you'll get lucky and find a young man for a trophy boy toy, and
then, Barry's morality can be a handy stance to mimic.
What other reason for your silence in the face of Barry's saying,
"And yeah, she is 'way cute, and I would be the luckiest guy on earth
if I were fortunate enough to be hittin' that. (snip) I can tell
already that this young girl and her sister and I are going to become
really good friends."
He may hardly ever have sex with young women, but clearly he thinks he
has a right to try for it, and would be lucky if he was able to
convince them to "let old age creep up on them." This attitude is a
horrid rationalization for licensing any man to listen to his dick.
And his dick will telling him to say whatever, do whatever it takes as
clearly as the "Little, pitchfork wielding, Red Devil On One's
Shoulder" does to characters in cartoons.
I remember a politician complaining that the congress can't pass a
high tax on rich folks cuz all the poor folks are against it cuz they
think they'll win a lottery some day and want not to have to then pay
70% of it in taxes when they're rich. Sigh.
Same deal? Anyone thinking they'll score a trophy wife or boy toy and
want to make sure I shut up about the morality of it? Yeah, people
make their own beds and have to sleep in them, but espouse it as a
good method for evolution? Who here would want a child of there's to
end up a trophy wife or boy toy? NO ONE. PERIOD.
I'm being told I'm creepily suspect because I've exaggerated the
importance of the tender feeling level in ordinary life. Yes, I broke
my own ideals when I flamed you and others, and indeed, my reposting
of the flames constitute flaming, and, Rick, I should be kicked off
for a week. But for you, Judy, to come back at me and suggest that
the words "rape and murder" are adjectives for your summation of
"whatever you think Edg is," then, maybe you need to look into the
same mirror you're wanting me to look into. Talk about creepy.
And Curtis, you got pissed that I used your name when I questioned if
you were a predator in a post's title. I think you had a valid point
-- I too KNOW THE POWER OF WORD ASSOCIATION IMPACTS ON MINDS, but,
what?, you're going to be silent when Judy makes an actual false
accusation against me?
And for you true believers out there, don't forget that I did TM four
hours a day for 29 years -- my personality is what resulted -- notice
my increase positivity, my decreased negativity? Neither do I?
Judy, you at least owe your own reputation here an apology, for you
have damaged it deeply to so knee-jerkingly berate me with such
triggering words. You might try to weasel out of this sinning by some
sort of justification for your dark fictions, but try to be a bit more
close to reality please, and tone down the hyperbole.
Or, hey, I'm a writer, just keep it up. I love the creative challenge
of coming up with a decent flaming. And I will risk being kicked off
here by flaming you, but, pause and consider first, Judy, that I will
do some of my best words to try to get your emotions as irked as
you've attempted to do to me with your egregious "rape and murder."
All's fair in bars; all are able to defend themselves, so no harm
could result in any words I would write about you, right? The flames
didn't touch you at all, right?
Or, is it that I attacked Barry, FINALLY FOR SOMETHING ACTUALLY
IMPORTANT, and you didn't, and now you are jealous?
Meanwhile, Bronte has, so far, had the "best take on the
problem-of-Edg," here, and I bow before her vision -- it was very kind
of her to try to be an apologist for me despite her disagreement with
much of what I've posted. I'd call that integrity, but my liking her
opinion is of course self-serving; where are the others here who can
see that I'm fighting to keep the light that Kali is gradually
extinguishing?
Kindness is leaving the planet. Responsibility towards one's culture
is fading. Stewardship is getting pretty scarce.
Speak up on my behalf all you who once thought the world could be
saved by TM -- my White Knightism is a sin you've known also. A sin
because of my impotency and ego, but the intent is holy -- it is to
preserve as much of goodness as possible for as long as possible as
this world slides into hell.
I would be willing to bet a ton of money that Barry and Judy both have
used my same exaggeration, projection and hyperbole when it comes to
describing George Bush, but, ho boy, Edg's using those tools are bad,
and then, next thing you know, hey, stomp Edg, cuz you know how much
he reminds me of myself -- so uncomfortable.
What next? If my daughter gets married, and I'm watching her dance
her first dance with the groom, does Barry get the right to sidle up
to me, jab my ribs with a lecherous elbow, point at my child and say,
"Huzzah huzzah, I'd like to hit that!" ??? If Barry were to be that
insensitive, would the rest of you be angry if I smack him a good one?
My bad for even fictioning that he'd be so crass. He's knows how to
mind his p's and q's "in person." But, what? am I'm expected to "be
like all men and leer" when a pretty young thing goes by, and everyone
here will be okay with me hooting and hawing about what they'd do
"with that stuff...."??? Our culture's fantasy of "pure young woman,"
is pissed on thereby.
It's about what is "generally acceptable," and I see that standards
are moving towards anarchy in every culture in the world, and that the
forces of evil afoot are made happier thereby. Anarchy now being
touted as "The Outlaw Path To Enlightenment."
It's tawdry, it's low, it's predatory to leer or to disguise one's
leering as a "friendly drink with friends at a bar." And, don't miss
my deeper concept: it doesn't have to be about sex. It's about being
a manipulative energy vampire -- grabbing attention that's easy to get
instead of earning subtler intimacy and progress by engaging in
honesty for hours and hours and hours of confessions and truths shared
and symbolizing love with bon mots, caressing and gazing into each
other. Having snappy repartee in a bar and thinking oneself very
clever and maybe destined to get lucky, is simply aggrandizement by an
elitist of the leverage tools he's able to command.
It takes a ton of time and dedication to even begin to get a handle on
relationship honesty. To hang around bars and just do the easy stuff
is so superficial, so egoic, so outer directed, and it's so wildass
goofy to expect that bar hopping as a bard is a lifestyle that will
serve up much profit for the soul. I love Turq; he's written so much
good stuff here, but I'm thinking he's just tired of trying to find a
high road to travel, so now he's glorifying the curmudgeon's low roads
where, yes, lessons can be learned, but not with dignity and clarity
if agendas are kept hidden. Projection?, yep, truth about Barry?,
judge him by his words above.
With Barry's vast, and I mean vast, experience with all manners of
"things deep," for him to not be an ideal inspiration to everyone is a
great loss to our culture. We should have a way to find people like
him, and put them into teaching roles, and reward them tons. I trot
out my homilies based on very few experiences, but, with his history,
why he should be overflowing with them far more clearly embraced, and
he should be a model of compassion at the least for the human
condition. Where are there not blind folks everywhere needing help?
Those with the acuity of Barry should be guiding others to deeper
fulfillment, instead of "guiding others until they're drunk enough, or
infatuated enough -- for Barry's purposes." He should be about giving
darshan. I know, "should should should."
If Barry has ever excoriated Maharishi Mahesh Yogi for abusing his
position of power by having sex with young women, then let Barry be
judged by the same rules. Barry has immense powers to delude, and he
has yet to deny that he uses them self-servingly.
I have been beaten to a pulp by life. I have seen what my
manipulation of others has done to me. I have sinned terribly.
Terribly. The costs have been huge. Don't ask, it would be too
embarrassing to detail my history of egoic stupidity, but don't think
that I'm giving up trying to keep my inner rascal on a short leash.
I don't tempt the rascal on purpose -- he's too good at getting me to
do things. I don't do porn. I don't do leering. I don't do bars. I
don't do fantasizing about women -- I'm too old to not be concerned
for the contents of my mind. I know the story on slippery slopes when
one is playing with fire. My life is a tale of such a fool.
To me, the good life is about being a village-of-one and raising
everyone's inner child with a true tenderness.
And, if I could do this perfectly according to my own clarity, I still
wouldn't be allowed in Sat Yuga, but why make things darker and darker
and darker with a low surrendering to base identifications?
And to balance. I often tell this sad story about my travails due to
my own failings -- but, that is merely one side of my story. On the
other side, I have been blessed in ways that make me think God is
kookoo. I live in a heaven compared to what I had most of my life.
Retired, recreational money, and a woman with a heart that loves so
unreservedly that I feel sunburned by the radiance of it.
I feel completely overpaid for my travails.
Edg
--- In [email protected], "authfriend" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> Either he doesn't always see through the armor,
> or he is sometimes moved not to honor and cherish
> the little girl he finds inside, but to try to rape
> and murder her in retribution for the outer tough
> part having given him a hard time.
>
---------------------------------
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