On Aug 31, 2008, at 8:34 AM, Vaj wrote: > > On Aug 31, 2008, at 2:20 AM, TurquoiseB wrote: > >> What I'm wondering is whether abandonment -- ignoring >> them completely -- is the best thing that we could >> possibly do for them? What happens in a clinical set- >> ting when you just basically IGNORE someone with BPD? > > The few people I knew who actually ended up being Borderlines all > followed a similar pattern: > > Above average intelligence, successful working for themselves or "in > charge" and with a certain amount of charisma. The problem was they'd > draw you in with something interesting. They'd draw you in real close, > revealing intimate details, etc. and you get to be close very > quickly....then they blast you with their rage when you get close. > Since they see the world largely in black or white, you fall into the > black side of things and are devalued and looked upon as if evil. It's > all your fault!
I should have also hastened to point out that treatment for this particular personality disorder is not only extremely difficult to accomplish in a clinical setting, it also does not respond well to any sort of direct confrontation, certainly not finger-pointing. This will only close off communication and forestall or stop treatment or progress. IOW you wouldn't, after years of knowing someone with this issue, approach them and reveal your diagnosis upon them. Forget about a family intervention(!). You'd very likely never, ever hear from that person again unless it was to vent their spleen, liver and tongue on you. It's also not a good idea to perform such diagnosis on discussion lists, for the above reasons and that it's medically unethical.
