What sort of clarity do you wish for? I recall my father's death perfectly. I could go into details but I am not sure what value it would have for you. It did fuck up my entire life and it took me at least thirty more years to process and see the results. Though the results on my motivation were instantaneous. I had been a perfect 'A' student, of course we're talking about up to third grade. At that time I took a nosedive and my grades went down and I became more 'punky.'
The 'narcissistic' sense of 'entitlement' continued through my actions and was a sort of carrier of my angst. It wasn't until witnessing destruction of my city that my sense of change became overwhelming and rather incapacitating for me. I no longer feel a sense of 'entitlement' whatsoever, not after watching my best friends entire way of life permanently displaced. I was watching him cry yesterday. He's epileptic and had seizures recently and was banned from work until he get's a doctor's slip. Anyway, that was a couple weeks ago, or more like a month, and he can't get a doctor's slip, and now he is going to be evicted. So now I am watching my best friend, and one of the few people I love move away. Sorry I'm rambling. Loss. I was being 'narcissistic' about my loss. Maybe not. Anyway, fuck me. I'm tired. Happy St Patrick's Day. ----- Original Message ----- From: "lurkernomore20002000" <steve.sun...@sbcglobal.net> To: <FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com> Sent: Monday, March 16, 2009 10:05 PM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: BBC News Online: Warning over narcissistic pupils > "Kirk" <kirk_bernha...@...> wrote: >>I was quite spoiled as a small child - with attention - breast fed, >large >>family, I also had three older sisters , grandmother living >across the >>street. I was very much feeling - entitled - until I >watched my father >>die when I was eight. Everything changed. > > Would you care to elaborate? I am in the process of examining my > childhood, which I remember as only very ideal, to try to find some clues > to some adult issues I am presently dealing with. > > As well, my wife's dad died when she was just a baby, and that, naturally > has played a significant role in her life. > > But I can recall no such event, yet I have issues that I am trying to get > some clarification on. > > Thanks > > > > > ------------------------------------ > > To subscribe, send a message to: > fairfieldlife-subscr...@yahoogroups.com > > Or go to: > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ > and click 'Join This Group!'Yahoo! Groups Links > > >
