Great stuff, Curtis. And happy birthday.
--- In [email protected], "curtisdeltablues"
<curtisdeltablues@...> wrote:
>
> So I'm walking to the dome trying to keep my cashmere shawl out of the
Iowa cow pie infused dust (as everyone knows I'm a never miss dome guy),
and I pass by an Indian man with Shiva-like Dreads (you know the other
Rastas) and he is whimpering at his hand. As I get closer I see that he
has a large thorn stuck in his palm. His other hand is being held up by
an atrophied arm in the air for tapas to garner a boon from the
capricious gods who have the lust for the bizarre like a judge in the
first rounds of America's Got Talent when they cart out all the wackos
to traumatize them in front of a national audience.
>
> So you can imagine how conflicted I felt knowing the POLICY. I mean
the guy can't use his atrophied arm and I never go anywhere without a
pair of tweezers due to my policy of preemptive attack on my uni-brow,
so I am obviously the right guy to lend a hand. But I don't want to let
the world down if I get bounced from the dome so I don't jump right in
but ask him "excuse me sir but do you happen to be a saint?"
>
> "Why yes, I am considered a saint in my Shaivist tradition for my
years of tapas and the fact that I walked here from India on the ocean
floor using my extreme pranayama techniques that allow me to breath like
a fish. I am so close to my Lord that I even indulged in a bit of a
menage with Parvati and him one time after one too many chillums on Mt.
Kailash. Could you please help me kind sir and remove this thorn so I
don't have to stop my arm holding which is highly pleasing to the Lord
and is among his youtube favorites?"
>
> Thinking about the weight of the world on my own shoulders with my
dome responsibilities I had to think quickly. I remembered an old
Navajo Indian (I know Native American, Native American) trick I had read
about once and proceeded to give it a try. I ran away sticking my
fingers in my ears and saying "LA LA LA LA LA LA", and sure enough I
soon found that his voice faded in the background just as the ancient
story described. (Note to self, try out their method of squaw
acquisition from neighboring village next)
>
> So I am getting closer to the Golden Orbs and am with great restraint
NOT referencing them as huge golden ta-tas because I have used that joke
here one too many times, when I hear a tiny voice that seems to be
coming from an open well. As I approach I distinctly hear a female's
voice coming from the well alternating devotional bhajans with pleas for
help getting out of the well. "Sonovabitch, not again" I hiss to
myself. Having learned something from my last encounter I didn't lean
into the well so she could see me but just shouted "Are you a saint?"
>
> A tiny voice responded "yes kind sir I am known as the hickey saint
and my followers are all marked from my divine cherries on their necks.
Having identified another threat to my own divine mission of saving the
world while leaning against a backrest I thought fast.
>
> Making crackling noises with my mouth I said "I'm sorry you are
breaking up, please call back later when I am out of this dead zone."
>
> Quite pleased with myself I hoofed it to the dome, got in a fight with
a new guy who tried to take MY spot (my back rest serves as a mighty
mace when swung properly), adjusted my comfy shawl around my shoulders,
and promptly fell asleep.
>
> Just another day in the life of the man who is saving the world.
>
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>
> --- In [email protected], Denise Evans dmevans365@ wrote:
> >
> > Â Of course one doesn't "have" to spend a dime....I was thinking
of the word "helping a saint" in the larger context. Â I helped
myself in the production to keep things running smoothly in that I did
some simple kitchen duty.
> > There was encouragement to spend $$, of course...donate to the
organization..purchase educational materials, etc. Â That's O.K. Â
> >
> > --- On Tue, 6/28/11, Ravi Yogi raviyogi@ wrote:
> >
> > From: Ravi Yogi raviyogi@
> > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Help a Saint - Lose Your Badge
> > To: [email protected]
> > Date: Tuesday, June 28, 2011, 2:18 PM
> >
> >
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> > Â
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> >
> > --- In [email protected], Tom Pall <thomas.pall@> wrote:
> > >
> > > On Tue, Jun 28, 2011 at 11:30 AM, Denise Evans dmevans365@ wrote:
> > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > I don't pretend to understand....but how does one "help" a saint
> > > > anyhow....except for giving $$ perhaps to organization.
> > > >
> > > > How did your visit to Amma go?
> > > >
> > > > -
> > > >
> > >
> > > It depends on the Saint. SSRS requires no help. There's no
orchestration.
> > > Saint Amma, OTOH, requires lots of logistics to handle the
multitude,
> > > change money in the temple, run the store, help out at
initiations, cook and
> > > serve food, herd the multitude, get people in position then out of
position
> > > as quickly as possible for their hug and Ma, Ma. Gotta shine her
silver
> > > crown and all that stuff. Heck, a visit from Amma makes a visit
from the
> > > Pope look tame and uneventful.
> > >
> >
> >
> > You liar, you don't need to spend a dime to have Amma's darshan.
> >
>
