Thanks Barry! I enjoyed your goggles piece too.


--- In [email protected], turquoiseb <no_reply@...> wrote:
>
> Great stuff, Curtis. And happy birthday.
> 
> --- In [email protected], "curtisdeltablues"
> <curtisdeltablues@> wrote:
> >
> > So I'm walking to the dome trying to keep my cashmere shawl out of the
> Iowa cow pie infused dust (as everyone knows I'm a never miss dome guy),
> and I pass by an Indian man with Shiva-like Dreads (you know the other
> Rastas) and he is whimpering at his hand.  As I get closer I see that he
> has a large thorn stuck in his palm.  His other hand is being held up by
> an atrophied arm in the air for tapas to garner a boon from the
> capricious gods who have the lust for the bizarre like a judge in the
> first rounds of America's Got Talent when they cart out all the wackos
> to traumatize them in front of a national audience.
> >
> > So you can imagine how conflicted I felt knowing the POLICY.  I mean
> the guy can't use his atrophied arm and I never go anywhere without a
> pair of tweezers due to my policy of preemptive attack on my uni-brow,
> so I am obviously the right guy to lend a hand.  But I don't want to let
> the world down if I get bounced from the dome so I don't jump right in
> but ask him "excuse me sir but do you happen to be a saint?"
> >
> > "Why yes, I am considered a saint in my Shaivist tradition for my
> years of tapas and the fact that I walked here from India on the ocean
> floor using my extreme pranayama techniques that allow me to breath like
> a fish.  I am so close to my Lord that I even indulged in a bit of a
> menage with Parvati and him one time after one too many chillums on Mt.
> Kailash. Could you please help me kind sir and remove this thorn so I
> don't have to stop my arm holding which is highly pleasing to the Lord
> and is among his youtube favorites?"
> >
> > Thinking about the weight of the world on my own shoulders with my
> dome responsibilities I had to think quickly.  I remembered an old
> Navajo Indian (I know Native American, Native American) trick I had read
> about once and proceeded to give it a try.  I ran away sticking my
> fingers in my ears and saying "LA LA LA LA LA LA", and sure enough I
> soon found that his voice faded in the background just as the ancient
> story described.  (Note to self, try out their method of squaw
> acquisition from neighboring village next)
> >
> > So I am getting closer to the Golden Orbs and am with great restraint
> NOT referencing them as huge golden ta-tas because I have used that joke
> here one too many times, when I hear a tiny voice that seems to be
> coming from an open well.  As I approach I distinctly hear a female's
> voice coming from the well alternating devotional bhajans with pleas for
> help getting out of the well.  "Sonovabitch, not again" I hiss to
> myself.  Having learned something from my last encounter I didn't lean
> into the well so she could see me but just shouted "Are you a saint?"
> >
> > A tiny voice responded "yes kind sir I am known as the hickey saint
> and my followers are all marked from my divine cherries on their necks. 
> Having identified another threat to my own divine mission of saving the
> world while leaning against a backrest I thought fast.
> >
> > Making crackling noises with my mouth I said "I'm sorry you are
> breaking up, please call back later when I am out of this dead zone."
> >
> > Quite pleased with myself I hoofed it to the dome, got in a fight with
> a new guy who tried to take MY spot (my back rest serves as a mighty
> mace when swung properly), adjusted my  comfy shawl around my shoulders,
> and promptly fell asleep.
> >
> > Just another day in the life of the man who is saving the world.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In [email protected], Denise Evans dmevans365@ wrote:
> > >
> > > Â Of course one doesn't "have" to spend a dime....I was thinking
> of the word "helping a saint" in the larger context. Â I helped
> myself in the production to keep things running smoothly in that I did
> some simple kitchen duty.
> > > There was encouragement to spend $$, of course...donate to the
> organization..purchase educational materials, etc. Â That's O.K. Â
> > >
> > > --- On Tue, 6/28/11, Ravi Yogi raviyogi@ wrote:
> > >
> > > From: Ravi Yogi raviyogi@
> > > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Help a Saint - Lose Your Badge
> > > To: [email protected]
> > > Date: Tuesday, June 28, 2011, 2:18 PM
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Â
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > --- In [email protected], Tom Pall <thomas.pall@> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > On Tue, Jun 28, 2011 at 11:30 AM, Denise Evans dmevans365@ wrote:
> > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > I don't pretend to understand....but how does one "help" a saint
> > > > > anyhow....except for giving $$ perhaps to organization.
> > > > >
> > > > > How did your visit to Amma go?
> > > > >
> > > > > -
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > > It depends on the Saint.  SSRS requires no help.  There's no
> orchestration.
> > > >   Saint Amma, OTOH, requires lots of logistics to handle the
> multitude,
> > > > change money in the temple, run the store, help out at
> initiations, cook and
> > > > serve food, herd the multitude, get people in position then out of
> position
> > > > as quickly as possible for their hug and Ma, Ma.   Gotta shine her
> silver
> > > > crown and all that stuff.   Heck, a visit from Amma makes a visit
> from the
> > > > Pope look tame and uneventful.
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > You liar, you don't need to spend a dime to have Amma's darshan.
> > >
> >
>


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