The sad but predictable demise of Amy Winehouse and the inevitable discussion of drugs, combined with other even more predictable topics that arose like clockwork overnight on FFL got me to thinking about drugs, and their relationship to obsession. I think a case can be made for obsession being a form of drug addiction. Those who obsess on another human being, especially for long periods of time, seem to share a lot of traits with long-term drug addicts.
So, naturally, my warped mind being what it is, I started to amuse myself by trying to figure out *which* drugs certain FFL posters were most like, given the behavior of the folks who obsess on them. Be warned. :-) I tried to imagine a die-hard FDA or DEA agent stumbling onto Fairfield Life, noticing the prevalence of obsessive behavior, and assuming that drugs were involved. Which drugs would such an agent "map" to which posters? Would the posters who consistently provoked the most responses from other posters be Schedule I drugs (addictive, no real medical benefits) or Schedule II drugs (some medical benefits, yet still very addictive and with nasty side effects). Would the posters who rarely get replied to -- especially in a consistently obsessive way -- be categorized as non-drugs, or as fairly benevolent recreational chemicals? Here's my shot at it: I'm thinking that Agent Smith would probably categorize MZ (Robin) as Ecstasy, laced with a little ketamine, and swilled down with an energy drink like Red Bull. Not everybody's cuppa tea, but if you're the kinda user who wants to dance all night to essentially the same song, infinitely repeated with only minor variations like Techno music, this is the drug of choice for you. Curtis would be a good Moroccan hash. NOT that downer hash from India or the Himalayas that leaves you not only flat on your back unable to move but kinda depressed and not enjoying it very much. No, Curtis hash produces a high buzz, often accompanied by great clarity, and even more often accompanied by laughter. The Curtis drug is non-addicting, so those who enjoy it do so when it's around, but don't miss it overmuch when it's not. On the other hand, Just Say No zealots who don't like the sight of other people laughing often crave it desperately, and hope that a new batch of Curtis hits the streets soon, just so they can rag on it. Vaj would probably be classified by Agent Smith as heroin, or possibly PCP, the latter because a little taste of it seems to make some users bat-shit crazy, and violent. One of the things that would lead to Vaj being mapped to heroin is the attempt by those who obsess on him to portray folks who either like his posts or fail to condemn them as low-life junkies shooting up in some darkened alley. Barry is clearly cocaine. Some users seem to enjoy the momentary buzz, but neither crave it nor obsess on it. For others, however, it's very addictive, and very much like the olde one-liner: "A little snort of cocaine makes you feel like a new man; the only trouble is that the first thing the new man wants is a little snort of cocaine." Those who obsess on the Barry drug -- especially negatively -- seem to crave it desperately, and even see it where it really isn't. It's like coke heads I've known who would compulsively assume that any white powder they see spilled on a table or kitchen counter was cocaine, and thus end up grabbing a straw and snorting up vast quantities of white flour or powdered sugar. And the amazing thing is that the ones who do this seem to get just as bent behind their imaginary cocaine as they would the real thing. Real Barry-coke or placebo Barry-coke, it doesn't matter; all it takes is a snort of something that reminds them of Barry and they start acting like Andy Garcia's character in the film "8 Million Ways To Die" or Al Pacino's character in "Scarface." :-)
